Pop Quiz!
Relax! There’s only one question and no wrong answers. It’ll be fun!
Here we go!
WHEN LIFE HANDS YOU LEMONS, YOU ARE MOST LIKELY TO:
a) Pull on your sweatpants, grab a few pints of Chunky Monkey, and indulge in a three day marathon of tear-jerkers, including John Q and The Pursuit of Happyness, then bawl for days over the myriad of injustices in life.
b) Find your inner peace after thoroughly exhausting yourself by going postal on random objects- the neighbor’s hideous Halloween scarecrow, the coffee maker that just kicked the bucket, the freakishly large rat scurrying by…
c) Throw those lemons at someone deserving. A few helpful options: that toxic frenemy you can’t seem to cut loose, a particularly infuriating coworker, or the out-of-control maniac in a semi who just cut you off on the freeway.
d) Use your pent-up aggression to squeeze every last drop of lemon juice out with your bare hands like a Viking masseuse and make a badass (and probably dangerously potent) lemon martini.
e) Other (please elaborate)
While these are all very logical (and highly acceptable) approaches, I’d personally go with option c.
Afterall, research clearly shows that actively doing something to alleviate troubles can be highly beneficial. And how much more proactive can one get than hurling objects across the room?
So…which did you choose?
No Viking masseuses were available, so I made this one myself.
comically quirky 
Yeah, c works for me. Throwing is much easier than squeezing. We don’t have a Viking masseuse anywhere close, and meditating is just tooooo normal!
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Yeah, I don’t really do normal. Hence the name Quirky Girl. 😀
Throwing provides instant gratification, that’s for sure. While meditating is a fine option, there’s a time and place for everything. If the lemon is already in your hand, it’s probably moments away from becoming a citrusy projectile.
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Although C really calls out to me…my aim is not so good. And if highly frustrated, I’d end up chucking it as hard as I could…miss my intended target, and end up hitting a cop or someone. ‘OMG’ I’m sorry. That wasn’t meant for you…um, I mean I wasn’t throwing anything. It flew out of my hand, by mistake. Or I’d be aiming for the truck driver’s shoulder, end up hitting his head…he’d swerve/jack knife and huge pile-up would happen.
Yeah, see, nothing good would come from that scenario that ultimately would end with me having to pay a ticket and lots of people, or death?
And since I’m not a bartender, because I like that idea too… but then I’d be yelling at my husband to figure it out.
SO that’s what I’d do, “HEY HON. GOT THESE LEMONS. Want to make us something?” (Or I’d hunt down someone to make that lemon zest cakey thingy I had about 20 years ago. That was yum, yum, but I’d never try to bake it on my own. That would be dangerous too)
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Lmao! Ok, so throwing lemons is clearly not the way for you to go, but it sure sounds like it’d be entertaining to watch! Unless, of course, it involves injury. Or jail time…
How about I just make us a couple of drinks with those lemons instead? 😀
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Yes, please! (smiles big)
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Working on it! My hands are getting tired from squeezing (juicing?) all those lemons. Where’s a Viking masseuse when you need one?
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I think that would be messy and juice (peel) and stuff would be everywhere.
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Yes, it is messy. But it’s worth it. And after a drink or two, you hardly even notice the mess anymore. Lol!
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You would relish in it. Oh fabulous!
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I badly want to be the viking masseuse but I will probably chuck it at someone I don’t like 😛
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Throwing the lemons is definitely a rewarding approach. Then again, so is drinking a cocktail made from them… 😀
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Yes, it has to be C. When life hands you lemons pay them forward as projectiles. They’re pretty durable and if you receive any back from favorable bounces you can wind up and pitch them at those deserving all over again.
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Exactly! Projectiles are definitely the way to go.
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