Sunny with a Chance of Tsunamis

/ Quirky Girl

Would’ve. Should’ve. Could’ve.

Every single human being has regrets in life, and I’m no exception.

My biggest regret?

I missed my true calling.

I should’ve been a meteorologist.

That’s right, one of those weather-predicting people who seem to be wrong more often than right, yet still get paid for constantly screwing up.

Despite the bad rap they get, I read somewhere that meteorologists are actually correct about 80% of the time, overall.

Which is fairly surprising.

The thing is, I live in a place where all kinds of weather-related mayhem is possible in a matter of minutes.

So this could really work to my advantage.

After all, weather forecasting is not an exact science.

It’s more like a multiple choice quiz.

And I know from experience that I can randomly guess and be right more often than not.

I want to get paid to not think. To not make sense. To make off-the-wall predictions that may or may not come true.

And meteorologists do essentially predict the future.

Or at least, they attempt to.

But storms can shift direction, and lessen or increase in force and intensity.

These things happen.

And between aging satellites and drunk meteorologists, things are bound to get more than a little messed up.

The sun is shining! And now it’s… raining?

But it’s still blindingly sunny?!?

Well, the radar did predict a sunny day… so where did that tornado just come from?

When you look outside the window and there are donkeys on tree branches and horses on rooftops…

Yeah.

Somehow, someway, someone was a little off.

One minute, there’s zero chance of rain… and then it’s suddenly raining hard enough to recreate Noah’s Ark.

Which explains that motorcycle floating coasting  down the sidewalk in plain sight of a swarm of cops.

And those bicyclists pedaling for their lives like drenched hamsters on a treadmill against sudden 70 mph gusts of wind.

And the pedestrian who unexpectedly finds herself going for an impromptu swim through six lanes of traffic.

Yet when it’s supposed to rain all day, every day for a week…

There’s not a single cloud in the sky.

But seriously, where the hell did that tornado come from?

Where was that on the radar map?

What gives?

Really and truly, though. I get it. I do.

Nature is unpredictable and has a mind of its own.

But so do I.

And I still think I should’ve been a meteorologist.

Pretty much summarizes my warped vision of the whole weather-predicting process.

Pretty much summarizes my warped vision of the whole weather-predicting process.

31 thoughts on “Sunny with a Chance of Tsunamis”

  3. Laughing so hard, but such terrible circumstances. By the end of you post, I had forgotten the tornado because your comment and the photo are so funny. Thanks for brightening my day. This entry reminded me of this: “Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass…It’s about learning to dance in the rain.”

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    • I’m always happy to help brighten the day. Especially through humor. And yes, if you live life waiting for the storm to pass, you miss so many other opportunities. So always, always, always dance in the rain. 🙂

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  4. Found you through this weekend’s Meet and Greet. I loved your weather blog. What other job could you have where you get paid and it doesn’t matter if you’re right or wrong? What if you were a doctor and you had to tell your patients, “You may have shingles but I’m only right 80 percent of the time”? Right? If I only did my job correctly 80 percent of the time, I don’t think I’d still be employed. Btw, I’ve always wished that someone would PAY me to stay home with my kitties and do crafts all day. I’m not saying that my crafts are worthy of bringing in revenue. Someone would just be willing to invest in my creativity and joy. Wouldn’t that be great? http://www.dianeweidenbenner.com

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    • It would indeed be great to be paid to do all the wonderful things we actually like to do and excel at. Sigh…

      But on a more positive note… Welcome to Comically Quirky! And btw, you have a new follower. 😉

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  5. I think you’d do a better job than some of the meteorologists around here. These days I consult my awesome weather App., then I look out the window. It changes anyway, four seasons in a day around here so there’s no chance (or maybe every chance) to get it right! 🙂

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  6. So, were you aware meteorology was my major in college? Dead serious, I even have the degree and everything! Jobs weren’t to be had around the time I graduated though, and by that I mean real meteorology jobs. Weathermen on TV are more broadcasters than they are meteorologists… at least the most prominent ones are. You have to learn how to spin every potential snow event into an impending apocalypse and break in to everyone’s favorite shows whenever there might be a storm maybe passing through kinda….

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    • No way! I was actually not aware that you’re an Atmospheric Scientist! That’s cool. Do you ever find yourself doing a more impressive job of weather predicting than “the pros”? 😛

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      • I always did poorly in the forecasting contests we had in school… probably because I used the TV guys as my guide! These days, I rarely even know what it’s going to do from day to day since I don’t watch the news (and ergo, the weather), and I think that ignorance is often bliss…

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      • I bet you would’ve been top of your class if only you’d avoided the TV weather guys like the plague!

        Yeah, sometimes it’s nice just to go outside and be surprised by the weather. You never know what the day will hold. Is it sunny? Is it snowing? Chances are, you’ll know before those meteorologists figure it out. 😛

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  8. Here in Cali, anytime the weather is unpredictable, people call it “earthquake weather.” Because it’s obvi that rain on a sunny summer’s day means a pending platetectonic shift. A tornado? Wow…must mean a 10.0 on the Richter scale!

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  9. Maybe you could write a nationally syndicated meteorological column that would predict the world wide weather according to astrological signs. Think of the possibilities — every day, only 12 slightly-to-drastically different forecasts would cover each city in the world. You’re bound to be right at least once a day in each city. If similar forecasts swept the day, people would just think those signs were in temporary alignment. And when the worst possible scenario played out, you might comment, “Well, sucks to be a Gemini today!”

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  10. I quit listening to the weather forecast long ago. I take a look out of the window and take the chance to figure the rest of the day. I guess I could have been a meteorologist as well, hmm, maybe not too late 😀

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