High on Everything under the Sun

/ Quirky Girl

Drug-free America?

Now there’s a radical concept.

From Ritalin to Prozac, there are drugs for every stage of life.

Whether illicit, over the counter, or prescription, there’s something for everyone!

The key to proactively educating the public lies in starting as early as possible. Elementary school is optimal.

As an advocate of life-long learning, a full integration approach will guarantee a successful drug-infused curriculum!

From primary subjects to electives to special interests to careers, the options are numerous!

No matter whether you’re learning from school or online, you can have access to it all.

Core course offerings such as ‘Shroom Science, Heroin History, Methamphetamine Math, Ecstasy English, LSD Library, and PCP PE are always popular.

A fan of Science?

Why not give Morphine Meteorology, Amphetamine Astronomy, Barbiturate Biology, OD Oceanography, or Paradise Physics a whirl?

Is Math more your thing?

There’s Controlled Substance Calculus, Adderall Algebra, and GHB Geometry.

Do Language Arts or Humanities appeal to you?

Stimulant Speech, Depressant Debate, Ritalin Rhetoric, and Marijuana Mythology are highly recommended.

Oh, and electives have never looked so appealing!

For the creative types, we’ve got Dopin’ Drama, Tracks Theater, Acid Art, Banging Band, Codeine Computer Lab, Narcotics School Newspaper, Vicodin Video Production, Joint Journalism, Percocet Performing Arts, OxyContin Orchestra, Crack Choir, Diet Pill Dance, and Leaping Leadership.

Special interest?

Fear not, for there’s surely something for you!

Addiction Anime, Doomed Driver’s Ed, Viagra Ventriloquism, Opium Ornithology, Xanax Xylophone, Acid Freak Astrology, Ibuprofen Improv, Abusive Archery, and Valium Voice-Over Artistry are only a handful of our growing niche offerings.

Career-oriented?

There’s definitely some great offerings for those entering the work force.

We recommend Trippin’ Tour Bus Driver, High Herbalist, Hit Health Inspector, Bustin’ Bailiff, Wasted Wheel Aligner, Reefer Rubbish Collector, Baked Bee Keeper, Prozac Psychiatrist, Rush Radio Announcer, and Devil’s Dust Drug Counselor.

For the History buffs, Withdrawal World History and Rehab Renaissance are always in high demand.

Remember, many drugs can be purchased on the street for your convenience.

For everything else, your doctor will be more than happy to prescribe something for you.

(Disclaimer: This new education plan is currently pending FDA approval. Which we all know won’t be a problem. Until there’s a recall. In which case, this whole thing was a very, very bad idea.)

I'd say this cartoon pretty well speaks for itself.

I’d say this cartoon pretty well speaks for itself.

27 thoughts on “High on Everything under the Sun”

  1. What a wonderful way to reach people struggling with these issues. It is amazing how a touch of humor can break through impenetrable barriers, yet you have found a way to do this.

    Unfortunately, due to my medical condition, I have to take a gamut of medications for maintenance and simply to survive, but this read did not offend me in the least. It is well-thought out, written beautifully with the right touches of humor. 🙂 ❤

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    • Thank you! And thank you for taking this piece in the satirical spirit that it was written. I truly understand the necessity in those cases that require medications for chronic issues and especially those that are crucial for survival. That is a far different ballgame, undoubtedly, and I admire your amazing strength and courage. 🙂

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      • Thank you. I am a bit goofy and love to laugh. I am fortunate to have caregivers that are also my best friends and we joke around as I talk a mile a minute each time they come. Also, by the grace of God, I feel blessed to be in my condition. It has put me in a position to help others and spread joy to whoever crosses my path. 🙂 ❤ I adore you and your posts. You make my day many times.

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      • Sometimes it’s challenging to feel gratitude for what life throws our way, but the ability to be grateful and optimistic is what ultimately brings us happiness and joy. And you, my friend, have seemingly mastered this. Spreading joy is one of the best things we can possibly do for humanity. I adore you, too, and am honored to be able to brighten your day with my wacky ways. 🙂

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  7. I am not an expert on this but I know that there are too many people on drugs that have lost their effectiveness due to physiological changes because we are over medicated on things like antibiotics. Some things like diabetes drugs can help keep blood sugar in check. By in large we are over medicated.

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    • I wholeheartedly agree. While some prescription medications are crucial in matters of life and death, others leave me wondering how beneficial it can be to take one drug, then six other drugs just to counteract the side effects of that first drug…

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  8. Ha ha ha! That’s great. I love your humor, it’s such an effective way to shed Light on social issues like this, and well just about anything, actually! Thank you for reminding me of that today. I needed it.
    Blessings and have a lovely, fun weekend,
    Debbie

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