Two Romeos and a Mob of Juliets

Valentine’s Day may be a few days past, but testosterone is still in the air.

Did I say testosterone?

I meant to say, love.

Truly.

At any rate, my two boys have been in full-throttle paramour mode, with the unfettered spirit of Valentine’s Day lingering.

The younger one bashfully leaving anonymous gifts of stuffed animals and chocolate to a special someone before sprinting off in the opposite direction.

The older one brazenly standing outside, waiting for the bus, come hell or hypothermia.

One gifting with presents.

The other gifting with presence.

One shy.

One bold.

Very bold.

With his less-than-subtle, sudden need for fresh air on a rainy, 35-degree morning, it leaves little question to the motives of Romeo Number One.

Every day before and after school, this child stands outside at the bus stop.

Did I mention he doesn’t even ride the bus?

Let me tell ya, this boy has quite the collection of girls.

One minute, he’s going out for ice cream and a movie with one girl.

The next thing I know, he’s talking on the phone for hours…

With a different girl.

And then the next day, he’s eagerly waiting to escort yet another girl to/from the bus stop.

It’s good to have options, right?

Meanwhile, he avidly avoids Stalker Girl, who freaks the hell out of him with her steady stream of obsessively psychotic texts throughout the day.

But getting back to my sweet younger son.

Romeo Number 2 spent the day before Valentine’s Day freaking out over whether to get a card or gift for a certain girl that he thinks he likes.

Did I mention that she used to like him…

Back when he didn’t think he liked her very much?

That’s right.

She liked him first when he didn’t know if he liked her.

And now he likes her.

He thinks.

Which left him with a dilemma.

To buy a card or not to buy?

Or get a gift or give her nothing?

To tell, or not to tell?

Torn between craving the glorious attention…

Or hiding under his desk like a turtle retracting into its shell.

The joys of girl trouble and tween issues. 

It’s soooo complicated.

Both of my boys spend hours each morning in front of the mirror like mini Adonises, getting their hair just right…

All while protesting showers and forgetting to put on deodorant.

Ah, the sweetness of childhood amour.

Paired up with the joy of adolescence, it’s a sure recipe for…

Well…something.

Love?

Romance?

Stinky love?

As in Love Stinks, that song from The Wedding Singer?

Except I highly doubt Adam Sandler was singing about adolescent hygiene.

Teenage lust.

Isn’t it great?

Oh, but it gets better!

Romeo Number One will soon be trying out for School Mascot!

Which is technically part of the school’s Spirit Team.

Which means being part of the Cheerleading Squad.

As in, being the only guy among all those cheerleaders. 

Coincidence?

I think not.

Love is still in the air, and my two Romeos are on the loose.

Perhaps we ought to move to Utah and start a polygamist colony…

Love is still in the air...

Love is still in the air…

48 thoughts on “Two Romeos and a Mob of Juliets

    • Times have definitely changed! If only childhood crushes were still so simple. Affectionately tossing rocks at others on the school playground is most likely now considered assault and grounds for immediate expulsion. This is evidently why, as a parent, I found myself wandering a grocery store with an highly stressed child the evening before Valentine’s Day, searching for an acceptable gift. For him to give a girl, not to throw at her. 😛

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  1. Oh, Honey…you have Romeos. I did too and now they’re both in their 30’s and just getting around to getting married. Maybe. I still get calls and drop-in visits from lovelorn ex-girlfriends asking me what went wrong. I’m thinking of getting an unlisted address.

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  2. I love the fact they are meticulously working their hairdos in the mirror but don’t have an awareness if they don’t smell at least neutral these players aren’t going to get within ten yards of the objects of their affection. Always good to have options. Utah will be there if you need it.

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    • Oh, these boys are frequently asking each other if they “reek,” so the awareness is definitely there, albeit selectively.

      While Utah has never been on my radar for places I’d like to live, it’ll serve just fine as a backup (a.k.a. Plan B). 😝

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  3. One of my friends has a boy child in the first grade who attracts girls like a magnet. He doesn’t solicit the attention, but he has cow-brown eyes and long lashes that are plainly irresistible. Maybe your sons are the same? Good luck taming the testosterone. 🙂

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