Woo hoo!
Today was the last day of school!
And, coincidentally…
Today also marks my 100th blog post!
I realize that I’ve been blogging for nearly two years, and some people churn out 100 posts in a single month…
But unless you want to read about my daily adventures of unclogging the toilet during mealtimes or dodging armadillos near fields of cows, one post a week from me is in the best interest of us all.
Seriously.
Anyway, what better way to celebrate this milestone than by honoring a remarkable lady with a tremendous talent for witty humor?
A woman whose views on domestic pursuits meshed beautifully with my underwhelming domestic ineptitude.
Her wisdom was unparalleled, and her ability to find humor in the most ordinary and extraordinary circumstances makes her a true gem.
Ladies and Gentleman, presenting some of my all-time favorite quotes from none other than the incredibly hilarious Erma Bombeck!
(That’s right- an animal doctor for kids who behave like wild animals. Or better yet, deduct the cost of that toy from their allowance and wait for it to pass through their digestive tract.)
(The moral of the story? If tomorrow comes, great. But if it doesn’t, you’ll regret leaving this world without having one final slice of quadruple chocolate cake.)
(Much like Lewis and Clark were famous explorers of land, some of us enjoy exploring the depths of our refrigerators.)
(It’s a futile attempt in productivity and there’s nothing to show for it. The more you clean, the bigger the mess becomes.)
(While humor itself is funny, the circumstances that it stems from aren’t necessarily all that humorous at all.)
(Seriously, the stress from excessive happiness is downright overwhelming!)
(I wholeheartedly agree with this handy guideline. It really puts things in perspective.)
(If I were to take myself seriously, I’d probably become seriously depressed.)
(I love this motto. Besides, “self-cleaning” ovens are anything but self-cleaning. Why is that?)
(And that’s the truth!)
(It’s like running on a hamster wheel. You’re actively doing something, but you’re not getting very far.)
(Tell me about it. There’s more food on the floor than in anybody’s mouth, and whatever isn’t on the floor is going to waste because no two people in this house like the same foods.)
(But I didn’t do it! I swear, it was him! Really!)
(Hell yeah! Besides, prolonged streaks of cleaning leaves me feeling like a sweaty hog, and there’s definitely nothing godly about that.)
(Okay, so I wouldn’t go quite that far. But there’d be consequences, for sure. Like screaming until I pass out, for instance.)
(Don’t get me wrong. I like things neat and tidy. But mostly, I just don’t care enough about domestic pursuits to worry myself over something so trivial.)
(Laughter is always the right medicine. It’s been scientifically proven!)
(I knew it! There’s a reason cookbooks and I don’t get along…)
(When I can’t figure out if an article of clothing at the store is meant to be a shirt or a dress, I don’t dare try it on for fear of unintentionally injuring myself.)
(Always full of surprises. That’s the beauty of humor.)
(Hey, wait a minute! I’m a vegetarian, but I’m more lion than hippo! Clearly, those hippos must be supplementing their diet with red-meat-eating lions.)
(Using mad ninja skills to bust down the door has some pretty cool dramatic impact, too.)
(Now that is a memorable and highly effective way to get a point across. In your face, doubters!)
(They may not lack self-esteem, but they are kind of lazy. Shouldn’t they be a bit more self-conscious about that?)
( I can’t speak for anyone else, but I can tell you this: eating takes precedence of 99.9% of everything else in life, especially if you don’t want to see me become crazy hangry.)
(I find myself on that very same figurative treadmill, going nowhere while getting very little accomplished.)
(I mean, yeah, I do find myself swatting flies some days. But I also manage to do this while carrying a load of laundry and balancing a pile of dirty dishes, so I earn all my meals, thank you very much.)
(Humor plays an understated, yet vital, role in civilization that cannot be underestimated.)
(Yes, but it’s a vicious cycle. It’s challenging to try to hug a child when they’re shooting Nerf darts at you.)
(It’s crazy how true this is. One minute, we’re eagerly awaiting a child’s first words. The next minute, we’re telling them to shut up.)
(Especially if it’s being passed off as “lemonade”.)
(Can’t go wrong with this philosophy. Although, in my case, it usually seems to be the other way around…)
(I be a goodly fine example of this here quote. Clean no more!)
(I wonder if this is also true for ulcers?)
(I wouldn’t know. Some days, I have my doubts about making it out of motherhood alive. But it’s good to know there’s a reward for those who do manage to survive.)
(Or a tornado. Or a tsunami. Or a typhoon…)
(All I know is, that first one is never mine. Then again, neither are any of the subsequent 78 pieces of luggage…)
(While not exactly funny, this one is 110% true.)
(I’m also an expert worrier. Yes, I’m good at it, but it brings me no joy. Perhaps I should find some new, more productive hobbies.)
(Which might explain the clouds of smoke coming out of my ears. System overload! Reboot! Reboot!)
(This is actually the title of one of Erma Bombeck’s books, but I frequently find myself wondering the exact same thing.)
(Time sure does fly. Fortunately, almost any note can be salvaged using this clever approach.)
(This is much harder than you’d probably expect. I mix up my boys’ names on a daily basis, and there’s just two of them. I can only imagine the struggle for parents with twice as many kids.)
(We all fail, from time to time. And to be successful, one must learn from their failures. So learn from your mistakes, then get out there and do something amazing!)
(The way I look at it, my kids didn’t come with warning labels at birth. I think any future spouses of theirs ought to find out what I figured out for myself. From experience. Good luck with that!)
(The fact that I’m still alive means I must be doing something right…but evidently, that something isn’t housework.)
(Sounds good to me! I laugh a lot. Mostly at myself, but I’m pretty sure it still counts.)
(That’s really not so bad, is it? I mean, I’d personally rather be a majestic tree than a cow.)
(How I love this one! It makes me laugh every single time.)
Erma Bombeck.
Proof that humor transcends time and change.
~Happy Friday, my friends! I hope you’ve enjoyed reading these quotes as much as I enjoyed sharing them with you. Have a fabulous weekend, and remember to always, always look for the humor in life.~
Good lord this is so hilarious and bloody handy at times😂😂 n congrats on 100! I’m really looking forward to more posts from you!
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Thank you so much! Glad you enjoyed. 😄
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Congratulations!!! U are doing one of d most noble jobs on this earth…to make people smile and laugh!
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Thsnk you so much for your kind words! 💗
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These are terrific! Happy Friday back at you!
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Thank you! Hope you have a wonderful weekend! 😊
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And you as well!😘
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I always loved Erma Bombeck! 🙂
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She’s amazing! After reading one of her hilarious books a few years ago, I would’ve sworn she and I could’ve been kindred spirits. 😄
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I know. She was so witty and wise and just plain funny!
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Absolutely!
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Congrats on 100 posts! Those quotes were hilarious! 😀
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Thanks! They crack me up every single time. 😄
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Happy 100th! That’s awesome. Funnily enough, my mum had the ‘Cleaning the house’ quote on the fridge while we were growing up. Lol. Swallowing the dinosaur one is my fave though. Enjoy your time with kids at home. I can already sense some awesome and hilarious posts coming up soon. 🙂
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Thanks! We’re working on enjoying summertime. Just had our End of School Year Gatorade Victory Celebration in our backyard. I’m sure I’ll have plenty of writing inspiration this summer. 😝
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Congrats on the milestone, that’s fab! And I love these quotes, very good reminders that life is too short to sweat the small stuff and to laugh it off whenever you can! x
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Thank you! And yes, better to laugh than sweat all the small things life throws our way. 😊
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WOOT! Congrats girl! and lol at all of these Bombeck memes 😉
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Thank you! These quotes were just so fun to put together, I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to share them all. 😁
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Congratulations! I’ll have to decide if all the posts I did back in 2014 count towards 100 :p
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Thanks! And yes, all of your previous posts totally count toward your grand total! 😉
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Nice, even then I’m only at 52, so still some way to go!
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Keep going! You’ll get there soon enough! 😊
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Totally love Erma, and your takes on Erma. She is a classic. Viva common sense! 🙂
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Common sense? Does that even still exist? More and more, it seems like that’s going the way of the dinosaurs… 😝
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I, for one, wouldn’t mind reading posts about dodging armadillos. I also agree with Erma about nobody having ever died due to an unmade bed. I have to muss up the bed when I stay at a hotel just to feel at home…
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It sounds like I will eventually have to make good on writing an armadillo post, then!
While I don’t go out of my way to mess up the bed, I also don’t necessarily go out of my way to make the bed, either… unless we have guests coming over. In that case, I don’t want to look like a total slob. 😝
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Congratulations on your 100 posts, QG! Thank you for that good laugh. Enjoyed every one of those quotes, so true and absolutely hilarious.
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Thank you! I’m glad you enjoyed all of those humorous quotes. One can’t help but laugh after reading so much insane funniness. 😄
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Congrats on 100. Love Erma, thanks for letting me remember that, and have a good laugh too.
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Thanks! Erma’s wit is a true gem. 😊
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Keep writing… great quotes, and yes laughter is the best medicine! Congrats, I do appreciate your fun posts… 😃 ❤
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Thank you! I truly appreciate your kind words. Hope you’re having a great weekend! 💗
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Yes, I am, thanks! 😉
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YES! The first piece of luggage never does belong to anyone LOL happy 100!
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Thank you! If my luggage is ever the first to make it onto the carousel, I might pass out from shock. Or, at the very least, write a post about it… 😝
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Congrats!
And: it’s nice to see the Gr8 Erma is still alive and well with you younger ones!
(I wonder what she’d say about texting and today’s technology?)
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Thanks! She’s just so dang funny! Oh, I bet she’d have plenty to say about texting. Especially kids and their addiction to electronics…
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You, mom, and I need to do lunch. After 1 hour of stories and laughing, we would all need fillers to reduce our wrinkles and crows feet! 😀
Looking forward to the next 100 postings.
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Thanks! Oh yes, we’re all about finding reasons to laugh! Just let us know if you’re ever in town. 😀
I wonder if the wrinkle release spray I use on my laundry works for faces, too… 😛
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My wife (who owns a natural anti-aging business) loved your response. If the wrinkle release spray does work, it will save her a fortune in overhead products required to perform the microcurrent treatment she uses on her clients. Personally, I have been using invisible scotch tape to tighten my skin. It works so well, I just bought stock in 3M.
May I interest you in a complimentary role to cover “rough patches” and to create a smooth, silky touch to your skin? 😀
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Oh, thanks. But I’ve got a sufficient stash of scotch tape already. I just never knew how versatile it was. 😝
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Congrats!! I recently hit 100 posts also💛
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Awesome! Congrats to you also! 💗
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Thank you☺️
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I love the worry quote about the rocking chair. I struggle with worrying so made me smile.
Keep Smiling and well done on the 100.
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Thank you! I’m a worrier, too, but I’d rather not be. 😝
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I love this! Happy 100th post. I appreciate the laughs.
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Thank you! Glad you enjoyed a few laughs. 😄
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Well done!
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Thanks! 💗
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congrats on the 100 posts … so we get 100 quotes 🙂 🙂 🙂 lol
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Thanks! I think this one’s my longest post ever. 😄
Actually, I thought about doing 100 quotes, but I restrained myself. I only did 50. 😝
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lol … it was big but laughable as always 🙂
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Congratulations on your 100th post! That was a fun read. I really enjoyed it. 😀
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Thank you! 😄
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😊
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Congrats!
Was there a link to the post about dodging armadillos near fields of cows?
😉
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Thanks! No, that post has yet to be written. One of these days… 😝
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These are awesome quotes. Thanks for the smiles. And congrats on 100 posts. Keep having fun 😊💕
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Thanks! I am definitely having a blast, especially when I have the privilege of interacting with wonderful bloggers like you. 😊
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Aw, that’s so nice. 😊
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I love this post, i had a lot of LOLs 😂 “I too am a food explorer 😂😂 Congratulations on your 100th post 🎉🎉
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Thank you! 😊
Nothing beats exploring the wild depths of the fridge when you’re a food explorer! 😜
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You are welcome 😊
And yes the fridge exploring 💕💕😂😊
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Happy 100th post🏆👏💓
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Thank you, Tink! 😉
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💫
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Hooray for pixie dust! 😁
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AWESOME…”Congratulations” on your 100th post! Looking forward to your future 100 posts and then some. Hopefully you’ll do one on unclogging the toilets…that would be a hoot. Loved the quote on grandparenthood…so, so true in my case.
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Thank you! I can’t guarantee I won’t end up writing about unclogging toilets, but I can promise that if I do, it’ll at least be funny. 😄
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Looking forward to it!
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Happy 100th post, girl 🙂 congratulations for the great milestone! *hugs*
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Thank you, my dear! 😊💗
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