Magnificent Mascot Marvels

/ Quirky Girl

A promise is a promise.

In honor of my son’s big debut as his high school mascot, I promised him I’d create a special post dedicated to…

Mascots.

Celebrating the vast variety of school mascots.

Highlighting some of the most delightfully far out there, what the hell were they thinking mascot creations.

Presenting the funniest, most unusual school mascots!

Fighting Artichokes

(Scottsdale Community College ~ Scottsdale, AZ)

Sure, Artie the Artichoke looks awfully personable for a so-called fighter. But make no mistake. Every bit as vicious and prickly as a cactus, artichokes are far more dangerous than they appear.

Fighting Okra

(Delta State University ~ Cleveland, MS)

Fear the okra! This fierce (and fiercely detested) vegetable is the school’s unofficial mascot. With as much as okra is reviled, it’s easy to see how this absurd representation could, in fact, be perceived as intimidating.

Fighting Pickles

(UNCSA ~ Winston-Salem, NC)

Sensing a theme here? Unlike some of the previous fighter vegetables, this tutu-wearing pickled cucumber looks far better equipped for a dance off than an all out brawl.

Meloneers

(Rocky Ford High School ~ Rocky Ford, CO)

Sticking with the theme of disgruntled green produce, this muscular melon is not one to be messed with in a town full of… you guessed it.

Cornjerkers

(Hoopeston Area High School ~ Hoopeston, IL)

Jerky the Cornjerker. It’s a suitably corny name for the ear-of-corn mascot who represents The Sweetcorn Capital of the World.

Sugarbeeters

(Chinook High School ~ Chinook, MT)

It’s the stuff of nightmares. Is it a vegetable or a menacing kitchen gadget? Or both? At any rate, it’s disturbing. What is up with all the angry produce? 

Fighting Farmers

(Farmersville High School ~ Farmersville, TX)

With the commendable use of alliteration, Farmersville Fighting Farmers aren’t content to just sit back and let the brawling produce have all the fun.

Pretzels

(New Berlin High School ~ New Berlin, IL)

Finally, a non-produce mascot! Mr. Salty clearly boasts pretzel pride. After all, who wouldn’t be proud to be a…giant pretzel. On second thought, this is neither fierce nor motivating. And now I’m craving carbs.

Dots

(Poca High School ~ Poca, WV)

The Poca Dots. Get it? It’s actually rather clever. This polka dot bears striking resemblance to a red M & M, albeit it a rather menacing, discontented M & M who wants nothing more than to beat you up with his stubby little arms.

 

Monsoons

(Valley Vista High School ~ Surprise, AZ)

This isn’t quite how I envision a mythological almighty Thunder God like Zeus. But this bug-eyed, purple toga-clad dude is certainly intriguing.

Winged Beavers 

(Avon Old Farms School ~ Avon, CT)

Speaking of mythological creatures, perhaps this mascot was meant to be a spin-off of Pegasus, the winged horse. On second thought, it looks more like a buck-toothed Gargoyle with a lacrosse stick…

Unicorns

(New Braunfels High School ~ New  Braunfels, TX)

Well, it never hurts to believe in magic. Enough said.

Galloping Ghosts

(Kaukauna High School ~ Kaukauna, WI)

Would a ghost really gallop like a horse? Probably not. But in all fairness, Levitating Ghosts doesn’t quite have the same ring to it as this alliterating appellation.

Keggy the Keg

(Dartmouth College ~ Hanover, NH)

The unofficial mascot of a prestigious academic institution, Keggy is a perfectly impressive Ivy League school representation, don’t you think?

The Stanford Tree

(Stanford University ~ Stanford, CA)

Yet another unofficial mascot, this animatedly charming tree gives the distinct impression he’s been hanging around with Keggy a wee bit much.

And there you have it.

Vicious fruits and vegetables.

Captivating mythological creatures.

 And an assortment of exceptionally nightmarish innovations.

With any luck, you now have some highly inspired costume ideas for Halloween!

~Happy September, friends! Hope you all enjoyed this wacky compilation. Have a fantastic weekend!~

54 thoughts on “Magnificent Mascot Marvels”

  1. Oh, Jerky, you’ve terrified me since I was very young. I will no longer be afraid of a walking corncob! Jerky is absolutely terrifying in person and you even have the better of the two mascot costumes on here! The older costume is SO MUCH WORSE.
    There’s one thing that I would love to say about the Hoopeston Area Cornjerkers, though. The mascot name isn’t dirty in the slightest, look up “the process of jerking corn” and you’ll see why – it is literally just removing corn from the stalk of the plant. We really hate it when people take it the dirty route instead of understanding the history behind it, however, a good laugh is warranted for those who don’t know about it at a first glance.
    Proud of Jerky? Yes, we are 🙂 He scares our enemies and stares deep into their souls with his mutated yellow eyes. I’d like to see a Trojan, an Eagle, a Bear, a Wildcat, a Gladiator, a Tiger, or anything cooler, try to top the originality of a Cornjerker.
    This was a fun read, but I had to go on a rant for my Cornjerkers back at home ;D

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  2. Well, Rocky Ford, Colorado is known mostly for farming some of the world’s best cantaloupes. Though, they chose the watermelon over the cantaloupe…I remember playing against the Meloneers. One becomes accustomed to the odd mascot. You see, the mascot wasn’t the issue. The bright red and yellow–sometimes mustard yellow or gold, depending on that year’s finances and team/sport importance–gave one an eyesore.

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  9. Ha! I am torn between the Cornjerker and the Poca Dot. Both seem too good to be true. I think I am going to go with the Poca Dot though because seeing an angry red M&M dance around brings smiles to my heart for some reason. lol Thanks for the laughs.

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    • It was quite the discovery to realize that among all the wildcats and panthers and eagles, some schools worked exceptionally hard to set themselves apart from rest… by embracing animated beer kegs, trees, and artichokes. 😛

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  12. There is a school in Texas with a unicorn mascot? That’s perfect! My mythical school whose sports teams were called the Unicorns had a nifty little fan spirit gesture I came up with that was based on the more famous University of Texas “Hook ’em horns” sign, with thumb and pinkie extended to represent the cattle horns….. only this one would of course be “Hook ’em Corns!” and would represent the lone unicorn horn in the middle of the head by extending the middle finger….

    Wouldn’t it be cool to see 10,000 rowdy Unicorns fans all saluting their team on game day?

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    • Yes, they really do exist! Especially if Texas says they exist! 😛

      Do you think unicorns stampede like horses? If that’s the case, I’d be hesitant to show up to a Unicorns game and root for the opposing team. There’s a surprisingly high chance that unicorns are not only cute and magical, but also deadly…

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  13. The Sugarbeeter, the Pretzel, and the Angry M&M are currently tied for the honor of starring in my nightmares tonight. I guess every team deserves a mascot! (?)

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  15. Ok, corn jerker!?!? That’s a seriously ill advised and innapropriate idea! Oh, the jokes, lol. And the unicorn has a big ‘ol sharp horn to poke with, so that one’s not soooo bad, lol. These mascot ideas were either conceived via people desperate for ideas or with horribly (yet delightfully) quirky and snarky senses of humor!

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    • Yeah … Cornjerker here. Jerky’s a mascot based on an older thing that the football team used to do before a game – jerk corn. It isn’t dirty in the slightest … it just sounds that way. Jerking corn is the process when you pull corn right from the stalk, which they don’t do anymore. A sportswriter called the boys “a bunch of Cornjerkers” and the name stuck. Jerky scares children and adults alike – looking like a giant, radioactive, walking corncob. The mascot doesn’t talk at all which makes it even worse.
      We’ve been called worse. A team in our conference calls us “The Poops-ton P***jerkers”, to which we reply, “Okay, Chokewood Vomits.”

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    • Indeed, the pretzel mascot is twisted… on many levels. 😄 It’s mind boggling that some of these mascots even exist. But then, the world would be such a boring place if not for the extraordinary and the unexpected. 😁

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  19. OMG – I don’t know which is my favorite. I can’t believe these all actually exist. 🙂 Thanks so much for this post. It was a hard day, and I needed a good laugh today.

    Maybe the pretzel. Or the dot aka red M&M. So many good ones to choose from.
    Have a great weekend. I’m running a half-marathon this Sunday!
    Blessings, Debbie

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  22. This post was just what I needed after a hectic week at work. Fighting Okra, Sugarbeeters and Pretzel?! I’ve heard of some weird mascots but these take the cake. I wonder what the thought process was when the school’s committee were trying to decide on what their school’s mascot should be. This was too funny Angelica!

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    • So happy to help end your week on a humorous note! 😊

      I know! These are some of the strangest concepts ever for mascots! My guess is the school committee members must’ve all been drinking from a keg and brainstormed lists of spectacular mascot ideas that needed to be implemented asap. 😝

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  23. Love them all, but my favorite was the Poca Dots. How could it not be? The Sugar Beaters were downright scary. And the Fighting Okra deserve whatever they get from the other team. What’s the mascot for your son’s team? (Please don’t say Okra.) 🙂

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    • God, no. Fortunately, he is not a gigantic Fighting Okra. Or a keg of beer. 😝 It may not be quite as exciting as the mascots on this list, but he is an eagle. A wonderful, soaring eagle. And that is far more motivating than any ear of corn or pretzel. 😄

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