Rogue Rotisserie Nosh

/ Quirky Girl

More skin!

Give me more skin!

Ooh, it’s so soft!

And the bone is so weak!

Yeah.

So, I made the mistake of buying a rotisserie chicken.

For the boys, not myself.

I don’t eat meat.

And I’d prefer not to look at it, either.

But life is seldom so accommodating.

And so I sit there, watching my child wave around some chunk of chicken that appears to still have a butt attached.

Or maybe it’s a thigh.

Either way, I don’t want any part of it.

Yet there he sits, unwittingly recreating the scene from Star Wars: The Last Jedi, when Chewbacca prepares to devour a freshly prepped Porg in front of all the other Porgs.

Months later,  I still can’t help but wonder-

Was that Mama Porg?

Or one of their idolized big brothers?

Or perhaps it was their wise, Yoda-like grandfather figure?

I’ll never be able to look at Chewbacca the same way.

At any rate, the chunk of rotisserie chicken looked eerily like the rotisserie Porg in that moment.

No, my son doesn’t particularly resemble Chewy, aside from the dark brown fur.

I mean, hair.

But they both make similar, indecipherable noises.

Hmmm.

Maybe my son is actually a Porg-eating Chewbacca progeny…

Whoa.

I’ve gotten a bit off topic.

As the child continues to exhibit more animal-like conduct than an actual animal, I don’t know whether to be mildly amused, mortified, or just downright disgusted.

The Bigly Bestest Doggie surreptitiously creeps into the kitchen.

With big puppy dog eyes and preemptive lip smacking, he secures his position.

He settles in under the kitchen table and enthusiastically began his complimentary floor licking service.

Maybe, just maybe.

It’s no secret kids are notorious for getting more food on the floor than actually into their mouths.

I sadistically find myself almost wishing the doggie will leap up onto the kitchen table and scarf down the rest of chicken, effectively putting an end to this horror show.

But alas, his manners are disappointingly impeccable.

Mmm, yummy chicken!

Are you sure you don’t want some?

Come on, have a bite!

Right.

I haven’t eaten meat since I was 15, and I’m not about to start now.

Especially with something that’s probably a Porg.

~Happy Friday, friends! Have a great weekend!~

Is it any wonder those poor Porgs always look so sad

Is it any wonder those poor Porgs always look so sad?

37 thoughts on “Rogue Rotisserie Nosh”

  4. Since this post has created some interesting imagery and political topics like meat eating and its harmful impact on the environment (for a portion of our population), I believe I have a created a compromise to satisfy everyone’s food options. I have recently opened a restaurant and named it “Vegetarian Road Kill”. We serve ONLY all natural humanely (unintentionally) killed meat and separate the vegetarian partially predigested plant food these animals have consumed. I call this idea “genius”!! Many other people have chosen other adjectives/expletives to describe my business venture. Would love to add Porgs to the menu options, but I’m not quite sure how to create a “natural means” for them to meet their demise. Do you think making them school crossing guards might be a solution to this dilemma?

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  6. Don’t cross over to the dark side, Quirky. Don’t do it. This post reminded me of a Car Talk episode where the guys got a bucket of chicken containing some unrecognizable parts. “Why do they always slip the “chicken butts” in OUR order?” one whined. Maybe vegetarianism has its perks, no worries about stuff like that. 🙂

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