Recalculating…
I swear, I’d never get anywhere without a GPS.
Although I don’t particularly seem to be getting anywhere with one either…
Ah.
The great Global Positioning System.
Where exactly does this thing think it ought to be positioning me?
Straight into the path of danger?
I wouldn’t doubt it.
After my younger son’s doctor appointment, we decided to get out and explore downtown.
My GPS informed me of a sprawling park with playgrounds and a botanical garden just one mile away.
I was looking forward to enjoying a bit of one-on-one time with my son.
Now I know I should’ve just dumped him back off at school and called it a day.
For the record, I’ve got a track record of getting lost just backing out of my own driveway.
Truly, I have no concept of direction.
If I didn’t have a compass in my car, I probably would’ve driven straight into an ocean by now.
Some people have an internal compass.
My husband and older son both have it.
My younger son and I clearly do not.
Instead, I’m gifted with an overactive imagination and an inclination for getting lost going nowhere.
Yes, I know GPS is not foolproof.
And sure, some people prefer to use good old maps.
But for me, reading a map is like trying to decipher hieroglyphics.
I’m convinced printed maps serve only as intricately detailed wall hangings.
Did I mention I have no sense of direction?
None.
Zero.
Zilch.
Turn left now.
Um, okay.
But that would put us the wrong way on a one way road, so I think I’ll pass.
Thanks, though.
At the fork, stay to the left.
That’s all and well…
Except following that cue just threw us onto an entirely different freeway altogether.
Would somebody please explain to me the logic of a freeway called I35E that evidently runs north and south?
Rather than eastbound, as the E would imply…?
Why not just name it I35Q instead, to eliminate any unnecessary confusion?
At any rate, we could actually see the park from where we’re at…
Make a U-turn.
Make a U-turn.
Take the ramp ahead.
Okaaaay…
But which ramp?
And to where, exactly?
There are various ramps leading to six different freeways.
One of them is a toll road.
And I refuse to pay money to get lost.
No, thank you.
Prepare to park and walk the rest of the way.
Excuse me?!?
Does that seriously sound like something anyone ought to be doing?
Across a freeway?!?
I always say I want to get out and explore more.
But this was not at all what I’d envisioned.
Getting lost is never intentionally on my agenda.
Nor is driving in circles.
Or making dozens of U-turns.
With such overwhelming helpfulness, GPS surely must be one of Siri’s relatives.
In 200 ft, make a U-turn.
Make a U-turn.
Turn right.
Make a U-turn.
Seriously?
The GPS loses connection as we go through a tunnel.
On the wrong freeway, of course.
And then it can’t seem to figure out where on earth we are.
By the time it regains satellite, it’s convinced we’re coasting along on an adjacent freeway.
Gotta love complex metropolitan cities.
There’s a reason I prefer to stick to surface streets.
Half an hour later, we’re right back where we started.
I’m not getting anywhere.
Literally, I’m going nowhere…
I don’t trust GPS systems – have seen one too many movies and shows where they get hacked, fail miserably, etc. Then again, I am the guy who can’t find his car in the parking lot even when it’s the only one. I can pretty much always tell my North from South, East from West just fine. I just can’t – ever – find my car…!
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Oh, yes. In addition to always getting lost on the road, I also have that same tendency to get lost in parking lots. 😛
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Haha! Have I mentioned that we can compete and I could possibly be the proud winner. By competition I mean competition on a sense of direction or rather the lack of it. I think that every road other than the one below my home is the same and the GPS is as alien as quantum physics. Thanks for the laughs, QG.
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Oh, good! It’s so nice to have company. We can get lost together! 😛 😛 😛
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What a wonderful thought, QG. 😉 At least we can count on each other’s company for that period 😉
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Oh, yeah! 😀
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Here in Chattanooga there is a school called GPS…Girls Preparatory School so GPS has a dual meaning for me. I did not attend GPS BTW AOK.
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Haha! What a fine acronym for a school. I wonder how often that gets confusing? And don’t worry, I would never have assumed you were a GPS alumni. 😉 😛
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The GPS is part of a conspiracy to increase sedentary living and unhealthy outcomes. These GPS voices remain calm as we begin pulling the hair out of our heads in frustration. Rather than listen to another “U turn” request, we hit the “what’s local button” to discover a new path. It typically leads us DIRECTLY to a McDonalds. Funny how it can’t find a park (filled with healthy activities and outdoor sunshine), but has no difficulty keeping our hip flexor muscles contracted (ultimately) altering quality posture while efficiently creating the shortest possible path to hydrogenated fats and other processed substances. I tell you, the GPS (although required by me as well) is no real friend of the human race! 😀
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GPS, the world’s best (or is that worst?) frenemy. 😛
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Sometimes those GPS’s drive me crazy! We were once at a soccer tournament in another city and my daughter and I went to dinner. I could see the hotel from the stoplight and yet the GPS was trying to convince me that I should get on the Interstate. Ummm…no thank you! lol.
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Sorry, but GPS does NOT always know best! I mean, I clearly don’t know best when it comes to directions, so it’s obviously better than nothing… 😛
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Oh my, can I relate! Geographically challenged is what I am.😘
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Im challenged in too many ways to keep track of anymore, so I just stick with calling it perpetually lost. 😜
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😂😂😂
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I solve this problem by never going anywhere new. That doesn’t keep me from sometimes getting lost in the town I’ve lived in for 42 years now when there’s an unexpected road construction detour, though….
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Yes! That’s exactly the problem. You don’t even have to be going somewhere new to get lost when life throws (literal) detours your way.
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Ha, ha, ha! This is great. 🙂 I love the part about walking across the freeway 🙂 and the cartoon at the end. I was once in a car and we were using a GPS. And it said (in a lovely compassionate female voice), “I’m sorry, I can’t help you any longer. I swear to God.
Anyway thanks for another great post. I’m taking a break from doing my taxes – I actually like doing them, is that weird? Blessings, Debbie
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Oh my goodness! If my GPS ever told me it can no longer help me, I’m afraid I’d be left with no choice but to chuck it out the window and then make a U-turn… right over the GPS. 😝
Hope your taxes are going well! 😁
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Thank you! Have a blessed week. 🙂 Debbie
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You too! 🙂
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I am exactly the same which is why I don’t drive! I could get lost in my own back garden.
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Oh, I can and do get lost…with impressive frequency. 😂
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As a travelling sort it is kind of a hindrance 🙂
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Oh, yes. For sure! It’s hard to get anywhere when you can never figure out which way to go. I know this all too well. 😛
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I always get where I need to go and back, there just a bit of a time lag compared to the average human being.
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Yes, same here! 😛
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My best friend is the same – she reckons the satnav was invented just for her.
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Haha! It was likely also designed with me in mind… They must’ve been inspired after witnessing my one millionth U-turn. 😛
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I cycled the wrong way on my cycling proficiency test when I was 10. I think I was shamed and scared for life.
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Oh no! I’d probably have done the same thing, though. 😀
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I had to take the test again because of it! Well, that and not being able to balance my vehicle up the kerb on its pedal. No-one had taught us that and I could not get it to stick.
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Way too funny Angelica. I took tried GPS but found it much too stressful. I always tend to resort to going to Google Maps to find places. I print out a map of where I want to go and highlight the route as well as the detailed written directions it provides. I commend you for even trying it.
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I prefer to map things out beforehand myself, whenever I have that option. But sometimes it is nice to be spontaneous. So I guess next time, I will have to do a better job at planning my spontaneity. 😂
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What is it with GPS’s and U-turns, Quirky? Usually that’s what Tom-Tom says right after “recalculating” instead of just finding another way. Doesn’t he know how rarely a move like that is legal? Not if he’d send you the wrong way down a one-way street, I guess. LOL. Good luck 🙂
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GPS likes to claim no responsibility for its misguided attempts at getting people from point A to point B, legalities be damned. GPS will usually get you wherever you want to go, but it never said anything about getting you there in one piece. But hey, minor detail, right? 😂
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Love it!!!! I can soooo relate. GPS systems and me are a love/hate thing. I’m constantly arguing with my guy on the dash as he seems to have a misguided sense of direction and mind of his own. In fairness though, I usually get there though but not after going through every conceivable side road in town. 😏 Thanks for the laugh. Fun post.
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That is so true, that a GPS will eventually get you wherever you’re trying to go, but only after taking you on a tour of the entire city first. 😆
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Exactly!!! 😁🚗
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🤣
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I totally rely on my gps
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I rely a little too much on my GPS, but we have a love/hate relationship. 😜
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Oh, yes. I can totally relate. My children are now grown, so I no longer have little backseat drivers saying, “you’re lost again, aren’t you mom.”
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Haha! And now it’s my turn… 😉
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lol great post … I remember a similar event in Canberra, we could see the bell tower but it has circular roads and there was just no way we could get there!
I posted an article recently about my argument with Bertha, had to name my GPS … but she’s been switched off since. I prefer the old style paper maps but they are unwieldy.
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I’m sure Bertha has earned that exile after leading you to nowhere in Canberra. I never thought to name my GPS, but I’m not convinced I’d be able to come up with anything nice or civilized… 😛
(I just found you comment in my spam folder. What’s up with that, WordPress? 😦 )
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not the first time and I have one follower who comments on all my posts and still her comments go straight to spam 🙂
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Oh, that’s lovely. When I go through my spam folder and see all the x-rated, inappropriate content, I can’t even begin to imagine how WordPress determines that some legitimate comments ought to be lumped with that nonsense. 😛
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exactly there is a huge difference and especially when someone comments frequently!
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Yes!
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