Folly, fool-born fustilarian!
Yeasty, ill-bred horn-beast!
Puny, milk-livered lout!
Who on earth might make such puzzling and disparaging remarks?
Why, William Shakespeare, of course!
The man was a master of snarky insults.
It’s probably safe to say he wasn’t much of a people person.
You know, what with all the harsh sentiments and all.
One thing’s for certain:
Nobody could’ve ever accused him of mincing words.
Not with that aptitude for verbally destroying anyone with the audacity to be anywhere in his vicinity.
Now that is talent!
And what better way to mark my 200th post than with insults, threats, and snarky remarks galore!
(Whew! Is it hot in here, or is it just me?)
(Everyone knows that elbows are best used for bending. And elbowing others. Which can be lethal, if done properly. Which I suspect the sharp-tongued Shakespeare must’ve been well aware of.)
(Not sure what a knotty-pated fool is, but it doesn’t sound very flattering. And yet, it sounds almost like a sweet compliment compared to the subsequent line. Yikes!)
(Now this is a dubious claim. If he wanted to beat somebody badly enough, age wouldn’t likely have been the biggest factor, given the intensity behind his words. Just sayin’…)
(I don’t know what it is, but some people just seem to have that effect on others.)
(Ass-whoopings and contempt for lack of intelligence seem to be a common theme here. Shakespeare probably could’ve benefited from a punching bag to release his multitude of frustrations.)
(Aw, come on. Surely everyone has at least one redeemable quality. Unless they’d landed themselves on Shakespeare’s shit list, that is.)
(Ha! It’s lights out for you, Scallywag!)
(Commendable use of heaven and hell, all in one hellishly fine simile!)
(I’ve never seen a stewed prune, so it’s hard to say how much faith I’d be comfortable placing in it. But I suppose the prune could theoretically warrant more faith than the average sheep-biting harpy. Whatever the heck that is.)
(If eyes are the windows to one’s soul, then it’d be wise to protect both eyes and soul from infectious stupidity.)
(It’s been said familiarity breeds contempt…)
(Oh, crap! It’s too late!!!)
While these were all so…delightful, I’d never personally say anything like this to another human being.
Not only because of the somewhat obsolete terminology…
But because, well, it’s kind of rude.
But still humorous, nonetheless.
~Happy Saturday, friends! Feeling inspired by Shakespeare? Great! Just don’t use that inspiration to turn all your friends into enemies. Yeesh!~
Good one!
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Congrats on the 200th post. Those are some hilarious insults. lol.
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Thank you! 😀
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Congrats on 200 posts!
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Thank you!!! 😀
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Yep, Shakespeare was smart enough to reserve his spectacular insults for fictional enemies.
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And therein lies the difference between a wise man and a fool. 😁
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Indeed.
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“Heaven truly knows that thou art false as hell” is my FAVORITE lol What a classy why to call someone fake.
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I agree! Nobody likes a phony, as so eloquently stated by Shakespeare. 😀
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WOW, this is side of Shakespeare I’ve never seen! Such poetic insults. 🙂
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And this may well be my favorite side of his! 😛
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Billy seemed to have a preoccupation with infections. I can only imagine how much penicillin he’d require if he read anything on my blog…
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Ha! Maybe he was a closet squirrel enthusiast, too! You just never know… 😛
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I’m not up on my Shakespeare. I guess I never thought about his insults and snarky remarks. The one about a stewed prune is hilarious. As is just about every one that you list.
See ya’ —
Neil S.
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Thanks! I can’t claim to be a hardcore Shakespeare enthusiast, but I always find myself laughing at his brilliantly outlandish prose. 😀
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Hah! These quotes are really funny! He sure could come up with some great put-downs! 🙂
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They’re awesome! I agree; he sure had a knack for creative put-downs. 😛
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How about “I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!” 😂 (Monty Python)
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Ooh! Such splendid use of slander! Shakespeare would undoubtedly be pleased 😛
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Shakespeare would have loved Monty Python 😆
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Most definitely! 😝
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