Carrots, Cheetos, and Kangaroos

Woo hoo! It’s Friday!

Oh, alright.

For those of you harboring superstitions, let’s forget about the fact that today is actually Friday the 13th.

Let’s focus instead on the fact that Valentine’s Day is just over a month away!

That’s right, it’s time to start spreading the love!

And in the spirit of Comically Quirky, I plan to accomplish this in the quirkiest way possible:

By combining the joy of poetry with my disturbingly creative motivational lunch note-writing awesomeness, of course!

Now, I don’t honestly know what I would do with a kangaroo.

Or a canoe, kazoo, or cockatoo.

But it’s the principle of the matter at stake here.

Trading something orange for something orange is cool by me…if that something happens to actually be an orange.

Not something artificially dyed a radioactive shade of orange with an assortment of health-compromising, life-shortening capabilities.

Geez, kid!

For that major lapse of judgment, you’ll be getting extra carrots in your lunch next week.

And you’d better eat them.

ALL of them.

On second thought, maybe I ought to start preparing for that kangaroo…

~Happy Friday the 13th! Hope you all have a terrific weekend!~


Happy Friday (the 13th)!

Everyone loves Friday!

Well, except when it’s that kind of Friday.

Oh yeah. Good ol’ Friday the 13th.

Did you know that an estimated 17 to 21 million people in the United States live in fear of this very date?

There’s even a word for this fear: friggatriskaidekaphobia.

(Frigg being the Norse goddess whom Friday is named for, and triskaidekaphobia is the fear of the number 13.)

The good news is that Friday the 13th only takes place once this year.

It’s true, some horrendous events have occurred on Friday the 13th throughout history.

But consider this:

Every day has the potential to be a bad day.

Think about it.

Bad things can happen any time, even on the most festive, most cheerful days of the year.

Such a positive thought, I know.

But in all fairness…

On Valentine’s Day, you could get impaled by a freakishly thorny bouquet of roses.

Or burn the house down during an intimate candle lit dinner gone horribly wrong.

Or fall off a mile-high cliff during a romantic horseback ride on a disgruntled horse named Princess.

On Christmas, you could get crushed to death by a massive Christmas tree by reaching for a gift and knocking the whole tree off balance.

Or whack yourself in the crotch while shoveling your elderly neighbor’s driveway.

Or get crapped on by Santa’s feisty reindeer as they all fly away into the night.

I rest my  case.

Besides, who has time to lose sleep over a silly date on the calendar?

What you really ought to be worrying about is accidentally smashing a mirror into  millions of jagged pieces.

Or crossing paths with a satanic black cat who was undoubtedly put on this earth for the sole purpose of clawing your eyes out.

Or inadvertently stepping on crack that’s guaranteed to wipe out every last branch of your family tree, all because of your shameful carelessness.

So do yourself a favor and don’t go assuming the worst on this particular day, when Every.Single.Day has equal potential of being The. Worst. Day. Ever.

Look, it doesn’t hurt to wish upon a shooting star, if it makes you feel better.

But for the sake of humanity, leave that poor rabbit’s foot alone!

(Somebody needs to explain to me how a rabbit who met an unfortunate end could possibly be a source of luck and fortune to anyone else.)

Friday the 13th or not, it's a great day to celebrate.

Friday the 13th or not, it’s a great day to celebrate.

~Happy Friday! So what if it’s Friday the 13th? Choose to make it an awesome day!~