A promise is a promise.

In honor of my son’s big debut as his high school mascot, I promised him I’d create a special post dedicated to…

Mascots.

Celebrating the vast variety of school mascots.

Highlighting some of the most delightfully far out there, what the hell were they thinking mascot creations.

Presenting the funniest, most unusual school mascots!

Fighting Artichokes

(Scottsdale Community College ~ Scottsdale, AZ)

Sure, Artie the Artichoke looks awfully personable for a so-called fighter. But make no mistake. Every bit as vicious and prickly as a cactus, artichokes are far more dangerous than they appear.

Fighting Okra

(Delta State University ~ Cleveland, MS)

Fear the okra! This fierce (and fiercely detested) vegetable is the school’s unofficial mascot. With as much as okra is reviled, it’s easy to see how this absurd representation could, in fact, be perceived as intimidating.

Fighting Pickles

(UNCSA ~ Winston-Salem, NC)

Sensing a theme here? Unlike some of the previous fighter vegetables, this tutu-wearing pickled cucumber looks far better equipped for a dance off than an all out brawl.

Meloneers

(Rocky Ford High School ~ Rocky Ford, CO)

Sticking with the theme of disgruntled green produce, this muscular melon is not one to be messed with in a town full of… you guessed it.

Cornjerkers

(Hoopeston Area High School ~ Hoopeston, IL)

Jerky the Cornjerker. It’s a suitably corny name for the ear-of-corn mascot who represents The Sweetcorn Capital of the World.

Sugarbeeters

(Chinook High School ~ Chinook, MT)

It’s the stuff of nightmares. Is it a vegetable or a menacing kitchen gadget? Or both? At any rate, it’s disturbing. What is up with all the angry produce? 

Fighting Farmers

(Farmersville High School ~ Farmersville, TX)

Pretzels

(New Berlin High School ~ New Berlin, IL)

Finally, a non-produce mascot! Mr. Salty clearly boasts pretzel pride. After all, who wouldn’t be proud to be a…giant pretzel. On second thought, this is neither fierce nor motivating. And now I’m craving carbs.

Dots

(Poca High School ~ Poca, WV)

The Poca Dots. Get it? It’s actually rather clever. This polka dot bears striking resemblance to a red M & M, albeit it a rather menacing, discontented M & M who wants nothing more than to beat you up with his stubby little arms.

 

Monsoons

(Valley Vista High School ~ Surprise, AZ)

This isn’t quite how I envision a mythological almighty Thunder God like Zeus. But this bug-eyed, purple toga-clad dude is certainly intriguing.

Winged Beavers 

(Avon Old Farms School ~ Avon, CT)

Speaking of mythological creatures, perhaps this mascot was meant to be a spin-off of Pegasus, the winged horse. On second thought, it looks more like a buck-toothed Gargoyle with a lacrosse stick…

Unicorns

(New Braunfels High School ~ New  Braunfels, TX)

Well, it never hurts to believe in magic. Enough said.

Galloping Ghosts

(Kaukauna High School ~ Kaukauna, WI)

Would a ghost really gallop like a horse? Probably not. But in all fairness, Levitating Ghosts doesn’t quite have the same ring to it as this alliterating appellation.

Keggy the Keg

(Dartmouth College ~ Hanover, NH)

The unofficial mascot of a prestigious academic institution, Keggy is a perfectly impressive Ivy League school representation, don’t you think?

The Stanford Tree

(Stanford University ~ Stanford, CA)

Yet another unofficial mascot, this animatedly charming tree gives the distinct impression he’s been hanging around with Keggy a wee bit much.

And there you have it.

Vicious fruits and vegetables.

Captivating mythological creatures.

 And an assortment of exceptionally nightmarish innovations.