Verbatim from a December 2014 entry in The Journal of Quirky Girl, the following incident of pre-holiday mayhem earned a special place in the Funnier in Retrospect category.
This morning was like something out of a deranged comedy.
It started off with my son declaring it “A Horrible Day” after accidentally spilling his cup of apple juice all over himself and pretty much everything else in the kitchen during breakfast.
And then it got better.
When we piled into the car to go to school, my child was still alternately sulking/ranting over what a bad day it was.
Distracted, I backed out of the garage too quickly.
The passenger mirror smashed into a million pieces after colliding with the side of the garage, knocking the garage door off its track.
The shattered mirror dangled lifelessly by a wire.
Thoroughly distraught, we hopped into the truck. The car would have to be dealt with later.
As we backed out of the driveway, the truck’s massive tires took out the candy cane Xmas lights I had spent hours putting up the day before. Flattened and crushed like roadkill.
Ho ho ho, into the trash they go.
“It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” was playing on the radio.
And so the day had begun…
The title pretty much sums it up.
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