This morning, I found myself elbow-deep in pumpkin guts in a laughable attempt to carve a Minecraft Creeper face.

To keep myself sane, I created a little song in honor of Halloween.

Ah. Halloween; the fabulous tradition of dressing the entire family up like an eclectic group of escaped mental patients and wandering door to door, politely demanding candy from people you’ve never even seen before in your life.

But hey, when else can you witness an angel walking arm in arm with the devil?

Or Darth Vader nonchalantly strolling the streets with Dora the Explorer?

Or Hit Girl from Kick Ass chilling with the Cookie Monster?

Priceless.

You don’t even need to go to Vegas for people creature watching of this caliber when you’ve got the insanity right outside your front door!

Anyway, without further ado…

THE HALLOWEEN HOLLER

(To the tune of Jingle Bells)

Dashing into the road

In a mask with warped eyeholes

Into the cold we go

Tripping on our capes

Falling on the ice

Evading frostbite

What fun it is to slip and dodge

Another car tonight!

 

Halloween, Halloween

It’s a freaking scream

Oh what fun it is to fly

On a major sugar high!

Halloween, Halloween

It’s a deranged dream

Oh what fun it is to cry

From a sick, sick sugar high!

Hey, let’s sing it again!

On second thought, I don’t feel too good…