cars

A Loose Screw

/ Quirky Girl / 36 Comments

An endless parade of buses, tractors, and horrifyingly inexperienced high school drivers finally pass.

And then the typical bickering and brawling commenced, mere moments after we made our way out of the school parking lot.

My precious darlings wasted no time, cutting right to the chase of intentionally annoying and aggravating each other.

And me.

Someone in the car was obviously an expert.

On everything.

But that someone clearly wasn’t me.

And then the fun really began.

Stop making that stupid noise!

Turn that down! You’re gonna go deaf!

He’s being stupid!

Why are you being so stupid?

Stop acting like a baby!

Meh.

I continued driving among the bickering insanity when I noticed something… off.

And not just figuratively speaking, either.

I panicked.

The brake and gas pedals…

What the…???

Where did they go???

My life flashed before my eyes.

Was this seriously how things were going to end?

In a malodorous, sweaty-gym-sock-stinking,  juice-box-stained deathtrap, with those two arguing beasts screeching and howling?

I don’t think so.

Over my dead body.

Ooh, no.

That was bad.

But what was going on?

Did I just break the brake?

Did I unwittingly have some sort of deranged Hulk-like moment and destroy a crucial car control with my freakishly strong right foot?

A hunk of plastic unceremoniously rolled backward and magically revealed the presumed missing controls.

And then it rolled under my seat.

Okay, that was a good start.

Except there was still a mysterious piece of rogue plastic on the loose that obviously broke off from somewhere.

I pulled into the post office parking lot, the very place my boys both harbor an unjustifiable aversion to, in an attempt to figure out what the hell was going on.

A large heap of plastic with a loose screw surfaced from under my seat.

I hadn’t the slightest clue what is was.

It vaguely resembled a pedal-shaped…

Something or other.

What did I know?

But the brake pedal was still intact.

The gas pedal was still intact.

So I determined it was safe enough to continue driving.

I mean, relatively speaking.

What with those shrieking banshee passengers and all.

Evidently, that heap of plastic turned out to be part of a vent that was situated near the brake pedal.

A vent part that I must’ve kicked and sent rolling.

Dangerously rolling, at that.

Well, that’s what happens when you discover you’ve got a loose screw.

Or two…

~Happy Friday, friends! Hope you all have a terrific weekend!~

This thing could easily be just a bonus piece of plastic with no justifiable purpose... right?

This thing could easily be just a bonus piece of plastic with no justifiable purpose… right?

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Divine Intervention from the Underworld

/ Quirky Girl / 16 Comments

Demolishing people with your vehicle is almost never a good idea.

But it could always be worse.

Or at least more ironic, at any rate.

After all, it’s not every day you see someone so forthcoming about their faith unwittingly endangering the lives of others.

I recently had the luxury of witnessing firsthand such a paradoxical event.

A car valiantly emblazoned with the virtues of Jesus narrowly missed plowing down a pedestrian while backing out of its parking space.

JESUS SAVES!

Or so the decal passionately proclaimed.

While drawing isn’t one of my numerous talents, I was inspired to recreate the scene of audacious irony for your entertainment utilizing the new photo editing software I received for Christmas.

On a side note, I highly doubt this is what my husband had in mind when he bought me that software, but hey, I’m putting it to good use!

Hmmm…

I feel like I’m forgetting some important detail here.

Oh, right.

The vigilant pedestrian ran like hell out of harm’s way in a timely enough manner, in case you were wondering.

Anyway…

Stay safe, and watch out for the Devil in Disguise. (Sorry, Elvis.)

But seriously, watch your back.

Better keep running, buddy.

Better keep running, buddy.

Wreaking Havoc- The Holiday Edition

/ Quirky Girl / 8 Comments

Verbatim from a December 2014 entry in The Journal of Quirky Girl, the following incident of pre-holiday mayhem earned a special place in the Funnier in Retrospect category.

This morning was like something out of a deranged comedy.

It started off with my son declaring it “A  Horrible Day” after accidentally spilling his cup of apple juice all over himself and pretty much everything else in the kitchen  during breakfast.

And then it got better.

When we piled into the car to go to school, my child was still alternately sulking/ranting over what a bad day it was.

Distracted, I backed out of the garage too quickly.

The passenger mirror smashed into a million pieces after colliding with the side of the garage, knocking the garage door off its track.

The shattered mirror dangled lifelessly by a wire.

Thoroughly  distraught, we hopped into the truck. The car would have to be dealt with later.

As we backed out of the driveway, the truck’s massive tires took out the candy cane Xmas lights I had spent hours putting up the day before. Flattened and crushed like roadkill.

Ho ho ho, into the trash they go.

“It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” was playing on the radio.

And so the day had begun…

The title pretty much sums it up.

The title pretty much sums it up.

~Comically Quirky is finally on Twitter! Follow me: @comicallyquirky . Thanks!!!~