I’ve never been one to jump the gun by celebrating one holiday well before the arrival of another.

Christmas before Thanksgiving especially comes to mind.

Or worse, Christmas before Halloween.

I’ve always groaned about the tactless “half and half” aisles that retail stores seem so fond of. You know, one side of the aisle stocked with Halloween costumes…directly across from the Christmas wreaths.

In September.

But this morning, I awoke with fierce determination.

The ground outside was just the right consistency from the sprinklers.

This would inevitably mean a lot less time and effort required for aggressively whacking Christmassy deer, trains, and polar bears into the stubborn, clay-like soil with a mallet in front of all my neighbors.

After all, nothing says Christmas cheer like the sound of a mallet penetrating the earth.

The weather was another selling point. Miserably gray, but unseasonably warm. And with the forecast from here on out predicting storms, storms, and more storms…how could I possibly resist this golden opportunity?

As I hauled out heaps of mangled décor and tangled extension cords onto the front lawn, I noticed my poor firefighter neighbor looking on apprehensively.

And rightfully so.

Last year, he witnessed firsthand what happens when a determined caffeine buzzed crazed girl with a mallet and dozens of Christmas decorations gets down to business moments before sunset.

Then a few days later, he also happened to observe us accidentally plowing right over the candy cane path markers with our truck. In our own driveway.

Last week, I discovered a business card by my front door for Christmas Light Installation by Local Firefighters!

Coincidence? I think not.

So what if it’s a tad bit early in the season to be decorating?

Big deal.

A little light never hurt anyone.

Unless that source of “light” happens to be lightning. Or a malfunctioning power outlet. In which case, yeah, electrocution probably does hurt.

And it’s not very festive.

Anyway…

Happy (early) Thanksgiving to all, and to all a good night!