@thebiglybestestdoggie: Why is it encouraged for humans to slow down and smell the roses, but frowned upon when a doggie stops to smell the poopie? Such a load of crap!
@thebiglybestestdoggie: It’s hot. I’m stuck inside. Guess there’s only one thing for me to do: take silly selfies!
Dang, I look gooood!
~Happy Tuesday! Even doggies can’t resist goofy selfies from time to time!~
I’m boooorrred!!!
Go walk the dog.
But it’s too hot!!!
Fine. Read a book.
What is this, some kind of punishment?
Take a walk to the pool and go for a swim.
No. I don’t feel like getting wet.
Okay, then. Clean your room.
What?!? Why?
And that was only day three of summer break.
It’s hard to be a kid.
There’s never anything fun to do.
But somehow, all your friends are doing fun things.
Without you.
You know so.
Because it’s all right there on Snapchat.
And so the only plausible way to entertain yourself is to torment the dog.
I mean, teach the dog new tricks.
Like how to eat his doggie treat while pretending to be the civilized human being that he clearly is not.
At a table.
While sitting in a chair.
Because how could that be a bad idea?
Oh, right.
It’s gonna be a long summer…
Is this your idea of a good time? Seriously? Go back to school, you sadistic kids!
~Happy Friday, friends! Isn’t summertime the best? Hope you all have a great weekend!~
@thebiglybestestdoggie: Enough of this crunchy crap! Getting tired of rock hard kibble. If this continues, consider me effectively on a hunger strike. At least, until I find something better to eat. In the backyard, perhaps…
~Happy Tuesday, friends! Poor Jett has been struggling to mask his disappointment whenever he strolls over to his food bowl lately. Apparently, the filet mignon he secretly wishes for has yet to materialize.~
@thebiglybestestdoggie: When lightning strikes and the thunder roars, there’s only one thing for this big, strong, protective doggie to do… Hide!!! (Momma, save me!)
~Happy Tuesday, everyone! People expect doggies to be tough, but sometimes all they want to do is hide under a blanket and wait for the storm to pass… much like their human counterparts.~
@thebiglybestestdoggie: So I’m The Bigly Bestest, but my Momma is just The Okayest? I don’t think so! She feeds me and walks me and takes care of me, so I think she’s better than just Okayest. Unless she forgets to feed me. Then yeah, she’ll definitely be downgraded to Okayest.
~Happy Tuesday, friends! Need proof that doggies are nicer than kids? I think my shirt speaks for itself!~
I’m not gonna lie.
I’m not really feeling the love.
My darling boys almost forgot that Mother’s Day is tomorrow.
Until I reminded them yesterday.
But alas, motherhood is a thankless job.
Fortunately, it’s not without its humorous moments.
So why don’t we take a moment to celebrate the awesomeness of moms?
Because, let’s face it, moms are awesome.
(Yeah. A crazy, multitasking masochist sounds about right.)
(Does going out of my mind count as a vacation?)
(Hellooo!?! Do you think I enjoy talking to myself? I’ll have you know that I do not, in fact, enjoy talking to myself. Are you even listening?!?)
(Because, evidently, nobody else besides mom can see the invisible, overflowing basket of laundry that keeps mysteriously multiplying.)
(Oops, too late. I guess 364 days was too long for my sanity to stick around.)
(Move over, Iron Man! You probably know me as my alter ego, Wonder Woman. Yeah. Take that!)
(Wearing the cape is typically too much of a hassle. And it blows our cover. We’re supposed to be human, after all.)
(Dogs love unconditionally and never back talk. And they’re always so grateful. Unlike some people I know…)
(Oh crap. Who let the cat out of the bag? Was it those darned kids? They’re lying to you! I swear!)
(Mom? Mom who? Okay, so sometimes moms find ourselves in situations where we’re forced to pretend we’ve never seen those angelic creatures before in our lives. It happens.)
(Amen to that! Now where’s my margarita?)
(Quite possibly the most heartfelt way to thank your mom for all that she has ever done for you.)
~Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms out there! Hope you get to enjoy a nice margarita and a day off from laundry and all that other domestic nonsense.~
@thebiglybestestdoggie: Look! Over there on the, uh… floor! It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s… Super Doggie! Oh yeah. Check out my cool new cape! Does this mean I can fly now?
~Happy Tuesday, friends! While the cape might look magical, it seems all the magic is in the doggie himself. Abracadabra!~
@thebiglybestestdoggie: Why am I wearing this goofy hat, and what are we celebrating? Is it my birthday already? Or Cousin Chloe’s birthday? No? Hmm. Well, whatever it is, I hope it involves treats!
(Psst! I think it might be Momma’s birthday!)
~Happy Tuesday, friends! It’s always fun to take a moment to celebrate the little pleasures in life!~
@thebiglybestestdoggie: I am happiness. I am a blessing. And I make people smile. The moral of the story? It obviously pays to be adorable! I think I’m on to something here…
~Happy Tuesday, friends! Doggies really do equal happiness, don’t they? Just look at that smile!~
comically quirky 