Star Wars

The Force of May Fourth

/ Quirky Girl / 28 Comments

Happy May 4th!

It’s also Cinco de Mayo Eve…

If such a thing actually exists.

Would that make today Cuatro de Mayo?

Is that a thing?

Well, it is now.

At any rate, Star Wars fans…

Today is your day!

Presenting some of the funniest Star Wars quotes of all time!

(C-3PO has such a classy and charismatic way with words, I can’t help but respect his penchant for comic relief.)

(It’s true; Yoda looks better than most people 1/10th of his age!)

(Would the iconic Nike slogan have the same impact if it boasted, “Just try it”? Case in point.)

(Even I’m disturbed by the myriad of things that Darth Vader finds disturbing. He’s got the proverbial stick up his butt. I mean, would it really kill him to smile occasionally?)

(A fool is a fool is a fool… but my guess it’s more foolish to follow a fool.)

(If only more people would heed this wisdom and think before opening their massive pie-holes, the world would be a better place.)

(Does this apply strictly to droids, or can this approach be used with humans also? Just curious…)

(Size matters not, as Yoda once said. I’m inclined to agree.)

(Naturally, the best remedy for this is to find some type of distraction to drown out the screams of your inner voice of reason and just go with the flow.)

(Ha! Yoda obviously hadn’t met my boys, with their twisted and sadistic senses of humor.)

(A fresh new threat to employ when the kids get too rowdy in the car!)

(Burn! Hmm. Perhaps “burn” isn’t the right word, seeing as how a planet far from the sun probably wouldn’t be hot enough to burn, in any sense of the word. But yelling “freeze!” simply doesn’t have the same impact.)

(I may occasionally misplace my keys, but I can proudly say I’ve never once misplaced a planet.)

(Rogue One, we have a problem! Sure, having no horizon on the horizon is indeed problematic. But killing off the delightfully witty K-2SO? Oh, that was low.)

(I, too, have my moments. I’m not sure what that says about my other non-momentous moments, though..)

Nearly half of these clever gems are from Yoda.

I guess it’s no surprise.

He’s wise and witty.

He and I seem to have quite a bit in common.

Except that I’m not green.

Or half as wise.

Or 900 years old.

Regardless of the fact that my kids might try to tell you otherwise.

~Happy Friday, friends! May the fourth, er, force be with you!~

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Rogue Rotisserie Nosh

/ Quirky Girl / 37 Comments

More skin!

Give me more skin!

Ooh, it’s so soft!

And the bone is so weak!

Yeah.

So, I made the mistake of buying a rotisserie chicken.

For the boys, not myself.

I don’t eat meat.

And I’d prefer not to look at it, either.

But life is seldom so accommodating.

And so I sit there, watching my child wave around some chunk of chicken that appears to still have a butt attached.

Or maybe it’s a thigh.

Either way, I don’t want any part of it.

Yet there he sits, unwittingly recreating the scene from Star Wars: The Last Jedi, when Chewbacca prepares to devour a freshly prepped Porg in front of all the other Porgs.

Months later,  I still can’t help but wonder-

Was that Mama Porg?

Or one of their idolized big brothers?

Or perhaps it was their wise, Yoda-like grandfather figure?

I’ll never be able to look at Chewbacca the same way.

At any rate, the chunk of rotisserie chicken looked eerily like the rotisserie Porg in that moment.

No, my son doesn’t particularly resemble Chewy, aside from the dark brown fur.

I mean, hair.

But they both make similar, indecipherable noises.

Hmmm.

Maybe my son is actually a Porg-eating Chewbacca progeny…

Whoa.

I’ve gotten a bit off topic.

As the child continues to exhibit more animal-like conduct than an actual animal, I don’t know whether to be mildly amused, mortified, or just downright disgusted.

The Bigly Bestest Doggie surreptitiously creeps into the kitchen.

With big puppy dog eyes and preemptive lip smacking, he secures his position.

He settles in under the kitchen table and enthusiastically began his complimentary floor licking service.

Maybe, just maybe.

It’s no secret kids are notorious for getting more food on the floor than actually into their mouths.

I sadistically find myself almost wishing the doggie will leap up onto the kitchen table and scarf down the rest of chicken, effectively putting an end to this horror show.

But alas, his manners are disappointingly impeccable.

Mmm, yummy chicken!

Are you sure you don’t want some?

Come on, have a bite!

Right.

I haven’t eaten meat since I was 15, and I’m not about to start now.

Especially with something that’s probably a Porg.

~Happy Friday, friends! Have a great weekend!~

Is it any wonder those poor Porgs always look so sad

Is it any wonder those poor Porgs always look so sad?