Give me more skin!
Ooh, it’s so soft!
And the bone is so weak!
So, I made the mistake of buying a rotisserie chicken.
For the boys, not myself.
I don’t eat meat.
And I’d prefer not to look at it, either.
But life is seldom so accommodating.
And so I sit there, watching my child wave around some chunk of chicken that appears to still have a butt attached.
Or maybe it’s a thigh.
Either way, I don’t want any part of it.
Yet there he sits, unwittingly recreating the scene from Star Wars: The Last Jedi, when Chewbacca prepares to devour a freshly prepped Porg in front of all the other Porgs.
Months later, I still can’t help but wonder-
Was that Mama Porg?
Or one of their idolized big brothers?
Or perhaps it was their wise, Yoda-like grandfather figure?
I’ll never be able to look at Chewbacca the same way.
At any rate, the chunk of rotisserie chicken looked eerily like the rotisserie Porg in that moment.
No, my son doesn’t particularly resemble Chewy, aside from the dark brown fur.
I mean, hair.
But they both make similar, indecipherable noises.
Maybe my son is actually a Porg-eating Chewbacca progeny…
I’ve gotten a bit off topic.
As the child continues to exhibit more animal-like conduct than an actual animal, I don’t know whether to be mildly amused, mortified, or just downright disgusted.
The Bigly Bestest Doggie surreptitiously creeps into the kitchen.
With big puppy dog eyes and preemptive lip smacking, he secures his position.
He settles in under the kitchen table and enthusiastically began his complimentary floor licking service.
Maybe, just maybe.
It’s no secret kids are notorious for getting more food on the floor than actually into their mouths.
I sadistically find myself almost wishing the doggie will leap up onto the kitchen table and scarf down the rest of chicken, effectively putting an end to this horror show.
But alas, his manners are disappointingly impeccable.
Mmm, yummy chicken!
Are you sure you don’t want some?
Come on, have a bite!
I haven’t eaten meat since I was 15, and I’m not about to start now.
Especially with something that’s probably a Porg.
~Happy Friday, friends! Have a great weekend!~