Is it over yet?
High school football.
It’s quite the production in The Lone Star State.
Even people without kids religiously attend every Friday night.
It’s that big a thing out here.
Hell, there’s even a 10 billion member marching band at every single game.
And the marching band is typically more fun to watch than the actual football game itself.
Sort of like the halftime show during The Super Bowl.
At eight dollars a ticket for the privilege of sitting on rock-hard metal bleachers for three to four hours, watching the clock move in slower motion than logically possible…
How could it be anything but exciting?
I personally pass the time alternately playing on my phone, staring in disbelief at my watch, and glancing at the score board.
But I’m sure some people are actually watching the game.
What better way to spend a Friday night?
I mean, besides sleeping.
Never mind the fact that I have to get up at 3 am the next morning for work.
If I’m having such a blast, why do I keep going to these games, you might wonder?
Well, to support my amazing mascot, of course!
But at eight dollars a ticket…
I could go see a movie for that price.
Or at buy a great cocktail.
Especially after sitting on those sadistic ass-numbing, back-breaking bleachers.
Sure, it’d be more cost-effective to stay home in my pajamas, watching reruns on Netflix.
But I suppose it beats sitting at home.
Sometimes, at least.
Especially when things get really exciting.
Between evacuations, stampedes, and near-electrocutions, it has been a fairly exciting season so far.
Almost every home game has kicked off with a lightning evacuation.
During the very first quarter.
Which is especially thrilling when lightning menacingly illuminates the sky and rain comes pouring down in an attempt to recreate Noah’s Ark, right there in the middle of the football field.
The bleachers are at full capacity.
Because everyone in town is at the game.
Did I mention the bleachers are metal?
And metal conducts electricity.
Which is ever-so-slightly concerning.
I don’t know about you, but I don’t enjoy high school football games enough to risk electrocution.
And so the stampedes begin.
Which is a rather refreshing break from some of those obnoxious, screeching, know-it-all fans.
Perhaps this is why I never bothered to attend any games when I was in high school.
Nothing against school sports and all the good qualities they help foster.
But sometimes I wonder why I pay to get hit in the head with rogue balls at games where excessively vocal away team fans conduct themselves as though the home team had the audacity to cross into Oakland Raiders territory.
The things we do for our children.
We support our kids.
Even when it risks our last remaining thread of sanity.
Because our kids will always remember that we were there for them.
Especially if we embarrass the hell out of them with our mere presence.
Because embarrassment and support apparently go hand in hand.
Go team, go!
~Happy Friday, friends! Have a great weekend!~
It’s Friday night! Um, yay?
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