Macabre Mobile Memories

A picture is worth a thousand words.

But I don’t need anywhere near a thousand words. 

I just need three:  

What. The. Hell.

I think my phone is trying to tell me something.

Apparently my summer had sucked.

Like, really sucked.

And, according to my smart-ass phone, things have been sucking for the at least the last three months.

Minimum.

I swear, iPhone must be in cahoots with Siri after the latest iOS update.

You see, it oh-so-helpfully decided to categorize my “best” memories in an album it labeled Best of the Last 3 Months.

And in this album are a select handful of so-called best moments, as determined by… a computer.

Evidently, the best of the last few months consist almost entirely of pictures taken while sitting around, passing time at assorted hospitals.

Did it choose these fine photos because my life had been so dull that whenever I’d finally gotten out of the house, it was to go hang out at various hospitals across the city?

Because my summer did indeed revolve heavily on frequenting various medical facilities for various family members at various times.

Especially for my younger son, who had extensive corrective tendon surgery that landed him in bed for six weeks with two full leg casts, doing nothing but playing video games and watching every single cartoon in the world on Netflix.

But right before that, we had spent a fun-filled day at the Great Wolf Lodge.

Apparently that just wasn’t memorable enough. 

Oh, the irony.

And what about the photos of that kick-ass John Cena vs Bill Nye the Science Guy wrestling ring cake I had baked for my older son’s birthday?

Or the ones of both of my boys whacking the crap out of a WWE piñata with a neon orange baseball bat?

Or what about the first day of school, for goodness sake?

Why are those not among my best photos?

Oh, but that one with my son chilling with a visiting therapy dog is actually kind of cute.

And the handful of pictures of my boys dressed in medical gowns, gloves, and masks to visit Grandma in the ICU are actually pretty sweet, too, in some unsettling way.

Amazingly, one or two of the majestic sunsets I’d photographed managed to creep their way into the album, too.

In addition to all the fun hospital photos, there was no shortage of weird screen shots of everything from Chuck E. Cheese to Homer Simpson to a deranged-looking cartoon horse, courtesy of two crazy boys.

And a ton of funny Pokémon Go shots, mostly featuring Pidgeys and Rattatas in wacky places, like in my coffee cup. 

At a hospital, of course.

All I know is I’m afraid to brave a peak at my phone’s Best of the Year album that undoubtedly awaits.

This, evidently, was one of my better memories of recent. Oh, and hospitals are a great place to capture Pokémon, in case you were wondering.

This, evidently, was one of my better memories of recent. Oh, and hospitals are a great place to capture Pokémon, in case you were wondering.