@thebiglybestestdoggie: Go, doggie, go! Just think… After I make this amazing catch, the Yankees are gonna be begging to have me on their team!
I’ve got it! Almost there! Keep going!
~Happy Tuesday, friends! Doggies are such great catchers; no professional baseball team should be without one. Jett is eager to step up to the plate and show them what they’ve been missing!~
Rawr!
Fear me!
I’m a Stegosaurus!
Um, yeah.
Okay.
My cute, cuddly Stegosaurus Boy stands in the backyard, wielding a neon orange baseball bat.
Keeping himself occupied, he pitches himself a Nerf football while waiting for me to hunt down an actual baseball.
I like squirrels and Stegosauruses!
I wonder if he’s forgotten that he also likes cheese with his squirrels?
Eat my cheese! It’s spoiled!
First of all, eww.
And secondly… what?!?
I’m a Stegosaurus!
Fear me, foul creature!
I pitch him a ball.
He lightly grazes it with a foul.
Come on, you sweaty savage!
He’s clearly talking about himself.
It may be 90+ degrees out, but I don’t sweat.
I sparkle.
Cheeseburger! Cheeseburglar!
Did I miss something?
Is Cheeseburglar McDonald’s new counterpart to Hamburglar?
I want to be hit by the ball. I want to be harmed!
Sorry, but going to the hospital isn’t on today’s agenda. So pay attention and use the freaking bat!
Yay! That’s harassment!
We switch up, and crazy Stegosaurus Boy refuses to wear his baseball glove.
Swing, batter batter, swing!
He pitches to me.
Crack!
The ball soars over the neighbor’s fence.
I didn’t know girls could hit like that!
Oh, but I’m not just any girl.
I’m apparently the mother of a crazed Stegosaurus.
I’m freakishly powerful.
His next pitch is hurled in the general direction of a plastic bucket.
The bucket misses.
Bucket, you suck!
Sniff my butt!
By this point, I can’t be sure whether he’s trash-talking the bucket, the innocent ladybug sitting atop the bucket, or me.
Rawr, rawr, rawr!
I think that’s our cue to go back inside.
So Stegosaurus Boy goes inside to continue a riveting game of The Sims.
Come on, you freaking deranged lunatic! Get up and go find a job!
Unemployed and stressed out, one of his poor Sims putters around a humble little house with a dozen wild cats.
The possessed cats were peeing everywhere in this house lined with toilets, treadmills, and foosball tables.
Puddles of cat pee spread across an alarming portion of the floor.
I gave you toilets! Toilets! Use the toilets!
Meanwhile, my other son keeps himself occupied in a similar fashion.
Playing Disney Infinity, he’s clearly the master of chaos.
At the bottom of an ocean lies Fear from Inside Out, a horse, spinning teacups, monster trucks, flying beds, bulldozers, an elephant, a Muppet bus…
And a wrecking ball.
Such torturous carnage.
So much for being a G-rated game…
What is it with boys?
They both wake up and start shooting and destroying everything in sight on games like Deer Hunter and Roblox the moment they awake.
Which, ironically, seems to be earlier than they ever got up for school.
Is this what summer vacation is all about?
And I’m pretty sure the only reason they haven’t been eating cookies for breakfast is solely due to the fact that we’ve run out.
Because they’ve eaten them all already.
Ah, the glorious start of summer.
~Happy Friday, friends! Have a fantastic weekend!~
Rawr, rawr, rawr! We’re all a little crazy around here.
The Black Sox.
The Great Bambino.
The Billy Goat.
What do these three things have in common?
Well, for starters, all three are associated with extraordinarily cursed Major League Baseball teams.
And…
After this past Wednesday, the last of these three teams have finally managed to break their curses.
After only 108 years, the Curse of the Billy Goat is finally broken!
Just like it had been predicted in Back to the Future II, only off by a year, with its 2015 win prediction.
(Actually, this discrepancy can probably be accounted for by the baseball strike of 1994.)
Not too shabby.
Anyway…
The Chicago Cubs managed to beat out the Cleveland Indians in game 7, in an epic 10 inning roller coaster ride.
And so it is the Cleveland Indians themselves who now hold the record for the longest World Series dry streak, as they have not managed to win since 1948.
That’s right, a mere 68 years of not winning now puts them atop the longest championship drought in MLB.
Congratulations, Indians!
You may not have gotten the ultimate prize of a World Series win, but you now hold another equally prestigious record!
No?
Okay, fine.
Maybe your team is finally next in line for the big win.
It could happen.
Just take a look at these other teams who managed to (eventually) break the curses bestowed upon them long ago:
For the 1919 World Series, featuring The Chicago White Sox vs the Cincinnati Reds, it was believed that the series had been thrown by Shoeless Joe Jackson and seven of his teammates.
All eight of those young men supposedly received $5,000 a piece in exchange for allowing a Reds Victory.
All eight of those young men, including Shoeless Joe Jackson, were subsequently banned for life after the 1920 season.
The Chicago White Sox didn’t see another World Series victory for 87 years, when they finally managed to win again in 2005.
Now here’s a thought…
If Shoeless Joe didn’t need the money so desperately, he probably would’ve been decked out in the coolest kicks of the early 1900s, instead of putzing around barefoot.
Can you really blame the guy?
Oh well.
What matters now is that the Black Sox scandal curse is now a thing of the past.
On to the Great Bambino.
When Babe Ruth got sold off to the New York Yankees in 1919, the Boston Red Sox had already won 5 World Series titles, while the Yankees hadn’t won a single one.
Division aside, no wonder this rivalry is so strong.
Who would’ve guessed that the stumbling drunken Babe Ruth would be such a hot commodity?
He would show up to games drunk, and his physique was proof that fitness obviously wasn’t much of a prerequisite in athletics back in the day.
But man, he could hit a ball!
Oh, and he apparently dropped a curse, to boot.
An 83 year championship drought ensued, as the Red Sox didn’t win another one until 2004, by which time the Yankees had racked up 26 of their 27 World Series wins.
Proof that karma can be such a bitch sometimes.
Moving right along…
During the 1945 World Series, where the Chicago Cubs faced off against the Detroit Tigers, Cubs fan Billy Sianis (owner of the Billy Goat Tavern) came to the game with his pet goat.
Just like he’d done at every other game, all year long.
But this time around, people around him complained about the goat’s smell and Sianis was more or less told by Wrigley officials to either take the goat away or get out.
He ended up leaving and sending a telegram to the Cubs, reportedly declaring, “Them Cubs, they aren’t gonna win no more.”
The Cubs proceeded to lose the next three games in the series to the Detroit Tigers, and so Sianis sent Wrigley a telegram asking “Who smells now?”
Since then, the Cubs’ sad, sad legacy has become legendary, coming close but never winning (or even reaching) the Series.
Until just a few days ago.
Finally!
Come on, guys.
Was this nonsense really worth a drought that lasted more than a century?
Nobody should have had to go an entire lifetime without their favorite team winning at least once.
In the future, just let all the pet goats, pigs, cows, zebras, giraffes, and hippos in.
It’s simply not worth the risk!
Besides, how could they have been so sure that it was the goat they were smelling, and not some stinky teenager?
Have you ever taken a whiff of a teenage boy’s bedroom?
I rest my case.
(Side note: There’s clearly something about Chicago. Not only had both Chicago baseball teams been jinxed, but so have the NFL Chicago Bears, what with the correlation of the disbanding of the Honey Bears cheerleaders in 1985 and the fact that the Bears haven’t won a Super Bowl since. Very interesting, indeed.)
Now, let’s get back to those Cleveland Indians:
The Cleveland Indians are known for their Curse of Rocky Colavito, which supposedly prevents the Indians from winning.
Its origin is traced back to the trade of right fielder Rocky Colavito to the Detroit Tigers in 1960, in general manager Frank Lane’s attempt to end Colavito’s salary demands.
While the Indians won the American League championship in 1995, 1997, and 2016, they ended up losing all three World Series.
In fact, they haven’t won a single World Series since 1948.
For his part, Colavito has denied placing the curse.
And so the curse continues, only with the Cleveland Indians now proudly holding the new dry streak record in MLB.
With the Cubs finally breaking free from the confines of a cursed past, the longest championship drought in professional sports now officially belongs to:
Drumroll, please…
The NFL’s Arizona Cardinals!
The Cardinals’ drought dates back to Chicago. They won the NFL championship in 1947, when they had beaten the Philadelphia Eagles 28-21.
And they haven’t won since.
They had moved from Chicago to St. Louis and St. Louis to Arizona, and still managed to go decades without any postseason success.
You see, the poor Cardinals have been suffering a curse at the hands of the citizens of Pottsville, Pennsylvania for undeservedly claiming the 1925 NFL championship from the Pottsville Maroons.
The Maroons were stripped of their title by the NFL in one of the greatest controversies in sports history, and the curse will supposedly only be lifted when the championship is returned to Pottsville and to the “correct shade of red” team.
Alrighty, then.
Interestingly enough, Arizona finally made it to Super Bowl XLIII in 2007, when they managed to lose to another Pennsylvania team: the Pittsburgh Steelers.
The Arizona Cardinals were all poised to win… but with less than a minute left in the game, a Steelers touchdown instantly crushed their hopes and dreams.
Congratulations, Cardinals, on being #1!
What an honor!
Ok.
So it may not exactly be the most coveted list to top, but there’s now plenty of proof that any and all curses can be broken… dead spirits and ejected goats be damned.
You’re up, Cardinals! Now just don’t blow it…again!
Congratulations, Chicago Cubs! 108 years of crappy luck is finally over!
comically quirky 