I’m a Stegosaurus!
My cute, cuddly Stegosaurus Boy stands in the backyard, wielding a neon orange baseball bat.
Keeping himself occupied, he pitches himself a Nerf football while waiting for me to hunt down an actual baseball.
I like squirrels and Stegosauruses!
I wonder if he’s forgotten that he also likes cheese with his squirrels?
Eat my cheese! It’s spoiled!
First of all, eww.
And secondly… what?!?
I’m a Stegosaurus!
Fear me, foul creature!
I pitch him a ball.
He lightly grazes it with a foul.
Come on, you sweaty savage!
He’s clearly talking about himself.
It may be 90+ degrees out, but I don’t sweat.
Did I miss something?
Is Cheeseburglar McDonald’s new counterpart to Hamburglar?
I want to be hit by the ball. I want to be harmed!
Sorry, but going to the hospital isn’t on today’s agenda. So pay attention and use the freaking bat!
Yay! That’s harassment!
We switch up, and crazy Stegosaurus Boy refuses to wear his baseball glove.
Swing, batter batter, swing!
He pitches to me.
The ball soars over the neighbor’s fence.
I didn’t know girls could hit like that!
Oh, but I’m not just any girl.
I’m apparently the mother of a crazed Stegosaurus.
I’m freakishly powerful.
His next pitch is hurled in the general direction of a plastic bucket.
The bucket misses.
Bucket, you suck!
Sniff my butt!
By this point, I can’t be sure whether he’s trash-talking the bucket, the innocent ladybug sitting atop the bucket, or me.
Rawr, rawr, rawr!
I think that’s our cue to go back inside.
So Stegosaurus Boy goes inside to continue a riveting game of The Sims.
Come on, you freaking deranged lunatic! Get up and go find a job!
Unemployed and stressed out, one of his poor Sims putters around a humble little house with a dozen wild cats.
The possessed cats were peeing everywhere in this house lined with toilets, treadmills, and foosball tables.
Puddles of cat pee spread across an alarming portion of the floor.
I gave you toilets! Toilets! Use the toilets!
Meanwhile, my other son keeps himself occupied in a similar fashion.
Playing Disney Infinity, he’s clearly the master of chaos.
At the bottom of an ocean lies Fear from Inside Out, a horse, spinning teacups, monster trucks, flying beds, bulldozers, an elephant, a Muppet bus…
And a wrecking ball.
Such torturous carnage.
So much for being a G-rated game…
What is it with boys?
They both wake up and start shooting and destroying everything in sight on games like Deer Hunter and Roblox the moment they awake.
Which, ironically, seems to be earlier than they ever got up for school.
Is this what summer vacation is all about?
And I’m pretty sure the only reason they haven’t been eating cookies for breakfast is solely due to the fact that we’ve run out.
Because they’ve eaten them all already.
Ah, the glorious start of summer.
~Happy Friday, friends! Have a fantastic weekend!~