Apocalyptic Annoyance

Knock it off!

Make me!

You wanna go?!?

Sigh.

Some people get up and start the day with yoga and meditation.

But not us.

Oh, no.

We get up and start brawling.

It makes life so much more exciting.

Hey, no fair!Β He’s got more cereal than me!

Nuh uh! Why do you have more cereal than me?

Whack!

What was that for?

I wanted that book!

Well, I had it first!

Shut up!

No, you shut up!

I’m telling!

Not if I tell first!

Mom!!!!!

Mealtime has always been painful in this household.

One child eats only as a means of survival…

And even then, only by force.

Meanwhile, the other one “helps” clear his brother’s plate.

In the most annoying manner possible, of course.

Well…

Life is all about balance, I suppose.

Stop looking at me!

I’m not looking at you!

Knock it off, or I’ll lick you!

Mooooommmmm!!!!!

One boy reaches over and snatches a single piece of dry cereal out of his brother’s dish.

I need more food! He ate most of mine!

And so the flailing begins.

Between foot stomps and arm twists…

And pinches, punches, and pokes…

It’s little wonder I’m such a fan of finger foods.

No way am I encouraging the use of utensils if not absolutely necessary.

Fencing with forks?

Slapping with spoons?

Noogying with knives?

No, thank you.

Knock, knock!

Who’s there?

Boo.

Boo hoo?

Why are you crying?

Shut up!

No, you shut up!

Alrighty then.

I like trains!

You’re rude!

I like turtles!

And rotten!

Cheese! Cheese! Cheese!

And you’re annoying!

I swear, sometimes I can’t help but marvel at how I’m the most normal person in the room.

Yeah? Well, you’re mean!

No, you’re mean!

I like cheese with my squirrels,

I like squirrels with my cheese!

OMG! Why are you being so annoying?

Smell my feet! SMELL them!

You wanna go?!?

And so ended breakfast…

~Happy Friday, everyone! Hope you’ve had a great week! Enjoy your weekend, and try to stay out of trouble. Well, maybe a little mischief won’t hurt…~

I'm fairly certain my child invented this impressively annoying catchphrase...

I’m fairly certain my child invented this impressively annoying catchphrase…

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52 thoughts on “Apocalyptic Annoyance

  1. They say breakfast IS the most important meal of the day. As for me if I were in the midst of this level of quality entertainment I’d be ready for the bar even at such an early hour. I need a little boredom with my breakfast. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    • That’s the benefit of having the ability to tune out shrieking, screaming, and other chaos.

      The downside, though, is that sometimes I find myself tuning out everything altogether. But hey, whatever keeps me sane. πŸ˜„

      Like

  2. My boys were always really well behaved when they knew I could hear them. When they thought I couldn’t it turned into a less violent version of the Sharks and the Jets without the music and dancing. Girls (my granddaughters) seem to be easier but I still have to step in between one of the 8 year old girls and her 15 year old sister. *sigh* I’m about to cast the Mother’s Curse on them…Grandma Version.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I totally agree. I have only one brother, and we still weren’t able to conduct ourselves like normal human beings… at home or in public. I suppose this is proof that what goes around comes around, right? πŸ˜€

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Another fun read, sorry, but I enjoyed breakfast with children who wish to eat ‘coz both my children pick on their food for survival. Not sure whether I am to work on building my cooking skills or fine tune their eating skills, either way food times are madness here and the mad person is ME!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Oh my goodness! This certainly put a smile on my face remembering breakfasts from long ago. My kids are all grown up with kids of their own, but I have fond (and sometimes frustrating) memories of breakfast antics. Thank you for this awesome read!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Ha ha ha! This is great. πŸ™‚ What a lively breakfast that you have. (Completely loved how you started, that your day doesn’t get going with meditation and yoga!) Blessings and Light to you and your kids. ~Debbie ps – I just did my first online forgiveness intro on Friday. I am so happy that I did it!! Went really well & it’s a part of me really getting out sharing in my authentic voice.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Clearly, meditation isn’t for everyone. We seem to thrive on insanity and chaos. Whatever works, right? 😜

      So happy to hear your intro went well! Will you be sharing it on your blog? Hope you’re having a fabulous weekend! πŸ’—

      Liked by 1 person

      • Oh that’s a neat idea. Probably not this one though … just because participants shared some really deep stuff. (It’s interactive via Zoom, if you’ve heard of that technology). I like your thinkin’ though, very creative! ❀ Hope your weekend was wonderful.

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Cute story! I, too, wonder when I realize that I’m the most normal person in the room, although for me that usually happens with adults around me. Of course, cheese is a constant in both our stories.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Normal, shnormal. It’s a head scratcher. Quirky works well for me.

      It’s funny, but after I wrote this, two different tv shows last night repeatedly mentioned cheese. And one even managed to have both cheese and squirrels (not together, though) in a single episode. πŸ˜„

      Liked by 1 person

    • Boys definitely have a more…shall we say, interesting(?) style of fighting. I can’t even begin to wrap my head around what life would be like with six kids, other than to assume that I would be exponentially crazier than I already am. πŸ˜›

      Liked by 1 person

      • I’d suspect that even if a person doesn’t start off deaf prior to having six energetic kids at large, they’re bound to suffer some degree of hearing loss with all the high-decibel shrieking and blood-curdling screams that kids are notorious for unleashing.

        Liked by 1 person

      • We didn’t need to scream, only when tortured. Mum lip read so long as we covered our mouth we could say whatever we liked and she had absolutely no idea. Must admit i think letting off steam that way kept the decibels lower … and there was no one to hear.

        Liked by 1 person

    • I wouldn’t really know, since every squirrel I’ve ever seen seems to be scurrying off in such an enormous hurry that I probably wouldn’t notice if they were hauling ass with a box of donuts. πŸ˜›

      Like

    • Thank you so much! I’m glad you enjoyed a few laughs. And don’t feel too bad for me- I’ve become (mostly) immune to the insanity. In fact, it usually gives me some great material for writing, so I really can’t complain too much. πŸ˜‰

      Hope you have a great weekend!

      Liked by 1 person

      • I don’t have children of my own… (I have ChΓ©ri, but he says I don’t have the right to call him a kid since he has a job, lol) But I looove kid humor, especially when it is not intended πŸ™‚

        Have a great weekend too πŸ™‚

        (Oh, btw, you probably already know this blog, but if not, I’d highly recommend it, https://mellixlife.com/ – another excellent source of children oblivious humor)

        Like

      • Kids definitely provide some of the best humor…probably because they don’t even have to try. They’re just naturally entertaining. πŸ˜€

        Will check out the blog shortly!

        Like

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