decorating

O Christmas Tree

/ Quirky Girl / 32 Comments

O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree,

Thy poor leaves must be horrified!

I mean, for crying out loud!

It just occurred to me that our Christmas tree is a total mishmash of chaos and insanity.

In other words, it’s very well-suited to my family.

It’s official:

The train has come off the track.

And I mean that in the most literal sense.

Seriously, the Christmas train at the base of my tree has apparently decided to take a detour straight to the joyous Land of Derailment.

At any rate, we’ve sure managed to amass quite the collection of ornamental Christmas chaos over the years.

This tree is not lacking in character(s) or personality.

Everyone in my family has a Baby’s First Christmas ornament.

Except for me.

My boys each have multiples.

My husband has a couple of his own, too.

Even my older brother’s Baby’s First Christmas ornament hangs on our tree…and he doesn’t even live with us.

Guess there’s some truth to the notion about the first-born getting all the love and the good stuff in life.

Oh well.

Enough of that pity party.

Let’s talk so more about those ornaments on my tree, shall we?

There’s a light saber-bearing Darth Vader positioned strategically next to an unarmed Gingerbread Man.

And Thor wields his infamous hammer between Tinkerbell and Rainbow Brite.

Marvin the Martian’s ray gun points straight at a lovey-dovey Mickey and Minnie pair with a Batmobile hot on their tails, while Taz chills precariously next to a delicate Eiffel Tower.

Then there’s Baby Jesus, who’s surrounded by a peaceful cluster of angels…along with the Energizer Bunny, Thomas the Train, Jack Skellington, and a one-eyed Cookie Monster.

Who decorated this thing, anyway?

And let’s not forget about my son’s favorite Tom Brady ornament.

Fortunately, our tree is not inflatable. Otherwise, we might have a scandal on our hands.

Good thing Hulk is right there beside him to keep an eye on him.

And then there’s the candy canes.

Adding a rainbow of color to the tree are a lovely assortment of artificial goodness in the form of festive candy canes.

They’re at least a year or two old, though, so I hope nobody actually tries to eat them.

(Note to self: Google “Do candy canes go bad?”)

Oh, but the fun isn’t just inside!

Our adorable lighted outdoor polar bear is passed out on the front lawn beside Charlie Brown and the rest of the Peanuts gang.

Probably from too much holiday excitement!

Or not.

I can’t be sure if it’s the wind or the spirit of the season that’s already taking its toll on him.

Looks like we could both use a drink right about now…

~Happy Friday, and Happy December! Hope you all have a joyous weekend!~

I think my train is coming off its track... Never mind, it's already too late.

I think my train is coming off its track… Never mind, it’s already too late.

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(Un)Season’s Greetings

/ Quirky Girl / 6 Comments

I’ve never been one to jump the gun by celebrating one holiday well before the arrival of another.

Christmas before Thanksgiving especially comes to mind.

Or worse, Christmas before Halloween.

I’ve always groaned about the tactless “half and half” aisles that retail stores seem so fond of. You know, one side of the aisle stocked with Halloween costumes…directly across from the Christmas wreaths.

In September.

But this morning, I awoke with fierce determination.

The ground outside was just the right consistency from the sprinklers.

This would inevitably mean a lot less time and effort required for aggressively whacking Christmassy deer, trains, and polar bears into the stubborn, clay-like soil with a mallet in front of all my neighbors.

After all, nothing says Christmas cheer like the sound of a mallet penetrating the earth.

The weather was another selling point. Miserably gray, but unseasonably warm. And with the forecast from here on out predicting storms, storms, and more storms…how could I possibly resist this golden opportunity?

As I hauled out heaps of mangled décor and tangled extension cords onto the front lawn, I noticed my poor firefighter neighbor looking on apprehensively.

And rightfully so.

Last year, he witnessed firsthand what happens when a determined caffeine buzzed crazed girl with a mallet and dozens of Christmas decorations gets down to business moments before sunset.

Then a few days later, he also happened to observe us accidentally plowing right over the candy cane path markers with our truck. In our own driveway.

Last week, I discovered a business card by my front door for Christmas Light Installation by Local Firefighters!

Coincidence? I think not.

So what if it’s a tad bit early in the season to be decorating?

Big deal.

A little light never hurt anyone.

Unless that source of “light” happens to be lightning. Or a malfunctioning power outlet. In which case, yeah, electrocution probably does hurt.

And it’s not very festive.

Anyway…

Happy (early) Thanksgiving to all, and to all a good night!

This was the lucky pardoned turkey. He 's now determined to spread some serious holiday cheer.

This was the “lucky” pardoned turkey. He ‘s now being forced to spread holiday cheer.