Back to School Motivational Deficiency

Well, now.

Isn’t that fascinating?

I just read somewhere that there are hundreds of thousands of words in the English language.

Whoa.

That’s a lot of words.

And with so many word choice possibilities…

I can usually think of something halfway intelligent to say.

Something clever.

Something catchy.

Something smart-assy.

Especially when it comes to writing.

But school started this week.

And, like my boys, I wasn’t really feeling it.

I’d been sick as a dog all week from all the summertime stress.

I mean, fun.

Yeah, summertime fun.

But sending my favorite monsters off with one of my infamous motivational lunch notes for the first day of school was simply a must.

What can I say? I miss my favorite crazy people when they're at school.

What can I say? I miss my favorite crazy people when they’re at school.

Ummm…

Okay, so it wasn’t very subtle.

And it’s only a whopping two words in length.

But I’m not gonna lie.

I kinda like my kids.

(Shhhh! Don’t tell them!)

In the meantime, I’ll be drinking mimosas and sharpening boatloads of pencils while they’re at school.

Gotta get my money’s worth out of that automatic sharpener, right?

Oh, who am I kidding?

I managed to sharpen exactly 32 pencils before my hand cramped up to the point of being virtually nonfunctional.

And then I had to get back to attending to the never-ending mountain of laundry.

Ah, well.

So long, summer fun.

It’s back to business, as usual.

Sigh…

~Happy Friday, friends! And… Happy Birthday to a very special 15 year-old (you know who you are)! Have a terrific weekend, everyone!~

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Countdown to Colossal Craziness

176 down, 3½  to go!

Days of school, that is. 

My oldest son and I discussed this over breakfast the other morning.

Can you believe it? You only have only a few more days of school! Where has the time gone? 

He thought about it for a moment, before providing his honest input:

Down the toilet?

Interesting.

It’s been yet another enjoyable year of school-related fun, between emails, phone calls, and general chaos as usual.

We’re all tired of the crazed school morning hustles, and afternoons filled with homework that none of us seem to have enough brain cells to sufficiently decipher.

(Hello, Google!)

We all need a break.

I need a break.

It’s so much easier to get myself up and off to work at 3 am than it is to get two zombie kids out of bed and out the door in time for school.

The leftover breakfast carnage of overturned yogurt cups, toast crusts, and banana peels has long gotten old.

And I’m running out of lunch box ideas.

What’s next?

A water bottle and a chocolate bar?

Or maybe that box of powdered sugar that’s been sitting on the counter since last Christmas?

How’s that for a treat?

Well, one thing is for certain:

I may not always know what to pack for lunch, but I sure don’t lack creativity!

In order to remind kids of the high stakes, it's often helpful to add subtly veiled threats directed at mythological creatures.

In order to remind kids of the high stakes, it’s often helpful to add subtly veiled threats directed at mythological creatures.

Nothing spreads joy (or concern) faster than my good old lunch notes!

(Run, unicorns! Run!)

Whew!

We survived!

Well, almost….

~Happy Friday, everyone! For those of you with school-aged kids, you may want to take a moment to indulge in a stiff drink or two before school is out. You know, for sanity’s sake. Have a great weekend!~

Carrots, Cheetos, and Kangaroos

Woo hoo! It’s Friday!

Oh, alright.

For those of you harboring superstitions, let’s forget about the fact that today is actually Friday the 13th.

Let’s focus instead on the fact that Valentine’s Day is just over a month away!

That’s right, it’s time to start spreading the love!

And in the spirit of Comically Quirky, I plan to accomplish this in the quirkiest way possible:

By combining the joy of poetry with my disturbingly creative motivational lunch note-writing awesomeness, of course!

Now, I don’t honestly know what I would do with a kangaroo.

Or a canoe, kazoo, or cockatoo.

But it’s the principle of the matter at stake here.

Trading something orange for something orange is cool by me…if that something happens to actually be an orange.

Not something artificially dyed a radioactive shade of orange with an assortment of health-compromising, life-shortening capabilities.

Geez, kid!

For that major lapse of judgment, you’ll be getting extra carrots in your lunch next week.

And you’d better eat them.

ALL of them.

On second thought, maybe I ought to start preparing for that kangaroo…

~Happy Friday the 13th! Hope you all have a terrific weekend!~

Magical Motivation

Do you believe in magic?

Well, if you don’t want mass unicorn deaths on your hand, you best heed my advice:

Consider this a warning...

I tell ya, I am sick and tired of perfectly good food being wasted.

So I had to find a way to appeal to my youngest child’s sense of compassion for all of nature’s fine creatures.

Real or otherwise.

It’s not a mushy love note.

Short, sweet, and right to the point, it just states a simple fact.

A fact that may well be subject to opinion, but still.

I don’t care how old you are, killing mythological creatures is never cool.

So, for the love of God, shut up and eat your lunch.

A unicorn will thank you!

~Happy Friday! Hope you all have a magical weekend!~

End of Year Motivation

Woo hoo!

Today is the day!

The last day of school, that is.

Oh yeah!

And in the spirit of going out with a bang

Presenting the final motivational lunch note of 2015-2016 school year!

In like a lion and out like a lamb? Ha! My boys go in like in like bulldozers and out like hyenas on crack.

In like a lion and out like a lamb? Ha! My boys go in like in like bulldozers and out like hyenas on crack.

~Hope you all have a happy Friday, a terrific summer break, and a fabulous weekend!~

Easter Motivation

I like to liven things up.

It’s what I do.

On that note…

Since today is Good Friday, I decided to make my boys special lunch notes for the occasion.

Notes make lunch time extra special.

Notes  like this make lunchtime extra special!

(If you’re going cross-eyed in a futile attempt to  decipher my microscopic chicken-scratch handwriting, the p.s. reads as follows: This carrot egg thingy has been super glued shut. We will open it together later… if- and only if– you’ve been good today.)

Happy Easter!

A Little More Motivation

Keeping the motivation coming, while keeping the standards low.

That really ought to be my new slogan.

Anyway, without further ado…

The latest shameless bribery motivational note my boys had the joy of discovering in their lunch boxes.

lunch note2c

What child can resist such blatant bribery?

A Little Motivation

Even though my boys are getting older, I still like to surprise them  from time to time with encouraging notes in their lunch bags.

A little motivation goes a long way, ya know? 😀

One of my recent creations. If this isn't motivating, I don't know what is.

One of my recent creations. If this isn’t motivating, I don’t know what is.