@thebiglybestestdoggie: It’s almost Christmas! Santa Reindeer Doggie told me I’m probably on the Nice List. Unless I’ve been a bad doggie. Does giving sweet hugs and tearing my toys to shreds make me a good doggie or a bad doggie? So confused…
~The Bigly Bestest Doggie would like to wish all his wonderful friends here on Comically Quirky a very Merry Christmas!~
@thebiglybestestdoggie: Inattentive staff. Slow service. Completely oblivious to my culinary cravings, evident from the same food I’m served every single meal, every single day. I’d give it zero stars if I could.
This stuff again. Yay.
~Happy Tuesday, everyone! They say variety is the spice of life. I think Jett would be inclined to agree, especially after getting a taste of real turkey on Thanksgiving. Luckily for him, Christmas is right around the corner…~
@thebiglybestestdoggie: Neglectful human needs to get priorities straight. Playing fetch always comes before work. Might have to “accidentally” swallow her keys next time.
~Happy Tuesday, friends! Pets are incredibly rewarding… and they sure can be demanding. Now go give your favorite furry friend a big hug!~
@thebiglybestestdoggie: If you don’t want me running down the street like a giddy little psychopath, you might wanna remember to actually put the leash on me next time. Just sayin’…
~Happy Tuesday, everyone! For the record, I did have the leash in my hand… I just forgot to actually attach it to the doggie. On the bright side, I did manage to capture this charming photo of him smugly strutting down the street during his brief moment of freedom.~
@thebiglybestestdoggie: Did someone say “feast”?!? No clue what exactly Thanksgiving is even about, but I can already tell I’m gonna like it. Bring it on!
~Happy Tuesday, my friends! For those of you who celebrate Thanksgiving, Jett and I wish you a joyous day filled with good food and good times. Bon appétit!~
@thebiglybestestdoggie: Human trying to take selfies with me. Can’t decide whether to eat the camera or her. Will decide…right after she’s done rubbing my belly.
~Happy Tuesday, friends! Thanks for joining us for more twit-tweeting doggie fun! Please stop by and check out the hilarious new about page for Tails ‘n’ Tweets with Jett!~
@thebiglybestestdoggie: First Halloween with these crazy people. Made me this weird cape thing. Um, thanks? Yeah, pretty sure I’m being punished for something…
~Happy Halloween! Thanks for joining Jett (a.k.a. The Bigly Bestest Doggie) in the debut of our brand new weekly Tuesday Tails ‘n’ Tweets series as he struggles to make sense of this crazy, quirky world, and the even quirkier and crazier people who surround him…~
So I ate that bag of bread.
And half a bag of treats, too.
But I was left by myself for days!
Days!!!
What?
It was only 10 minutes?
Seriously?
Huh.
Well, it felt like days.
What do you mean I’m not getting anything else for dinner now?
Don’t bite the hand that feeds you, many people say.
But is it okay to poop on it instead?
Just asking.
You know, for a friend.
No other dog in the history of the world has ever been treated so very, very unfairly.
Believe me.
Even my enemies agree.
And I have many, many of those.
Trust me.
Especially after I’ve sniffed their poop and tried to eat their food.
But I’m telling you, I think these owners of mine have problems.
What am I going to do about it?
Oh, you’ll see.
Yeah.
You’ll find out soon enough.
Luckily for you, I don’t speak my thoughts.
Unluckily for you, there’s Twitter.
@thebiglybestestdoggie: Treated very unfairly by low energy humans again. Sad!
Ha!
That’ll show them.
Ooooh, a ball!
Look at that bright, shiny ball!
What was I saying?
Oh, yeah.
@thebiglybestestdoggie: You’re fired! Overrated humans! You’re all very bad hombres!
Oh, except I do need someone to feed me dinner.
Pretty please?
Oh, come on.
Don’t make me beg.
I’m sorry.
Okay?
@thebiglybestestdoggie: I’m the most tremendously people loving dog you’ll ever meet! I love people! All of them! Believe me!
I’m just a doggie horribly, horribly wronged.
Nobody knew it would be so hard!
To have self-control 24/7!
And to run this dump!
Nobody!
Who would’ve guessed?
Hashtag unfair!
So what are you gonna do?
Build a cage?
Create a ban to keep me out of the kitchen?
Find some other way to make your household “great” again?
What about those other monsters running around the house like savages?
Huh?
Will you threaten to cage them, too?
What’s the word for those things again?
Oh, right.
Kids.
Ooh!
Look at that beautiful treat!
It’s the most beautiful treat ever!
And I’m gonna shove it down my gluttonous throat!
@thebiglybestestdoggie: A+ for going in and taking what I want better than anyone in the history of the world!
What can I say?
I’m a real go-getter.
You know, a lot of people are saying I should also be able to crotch-sniff anyone I damn well please.
Even Rocket Man.
What’s that?
You think I’m being overly dramatic?
Listen, you son of a female dog!
(Oh wait, I think I just described myself.)
I challenge you to a duel!
On second thought, my paws are probably too small.
IQ test, anyone?
Yeah, how about that?
Moron!
I know words!
I know lots of words!
I know yuuuge ones!
Like sit and stay…
But not no.
Definitely not no.
Roll over?
What am I, some kind of animal?
Losers!
I’m tired of being treated so unfairly!
And so I’ll respond the only way I know how.
With fire and fury!
Ha ha ha!
Just kidding!
I’m a sweet, loving doggie!
But I think those mushrooms I just ate in the backyard might’ve been hallucinogenic.
I love you!
Now give me a hug!
Aww!
You’re the best!
@thebiglybestestdoggie: Woof, woof, woof. Doggie out!
~Happy Saturday, friends! Furry friends sure do make life more entertaining, don’t they? Have a fun-filled, happy weekend!~
Yes, I did help myself to a loaf of bread and a bunch of treats. But I’m really a good dog. I swear!
comically quirky 