Not this again.
How is it already that time again?
I’m just not ready yet.
And I’m pretty sure my kids aren’t, either.
Want to know the secret to blowing through loads of money in a matter of hours?
Have lots of kids!
And then cram those crazy kids into the car and go shopping for their gazillion back to school needs!
I don’t even want to think about how much we’ve already spent.
And I only have two kids, not a whole busload of them.
With a week and a half until school starts, we hadn’t gotten around to shopping for most of the necessary school supplies.
Prior to yesterday, we’d only managed to shop for underwear, socks, and shoes.
And very little else.
Because last week was far too soon to even think about all this back to school nonsense.
And because I’m clearly a glutton for punishment, we went to Walmart.
Or, more specifically, we went to Walmart twice.
In one day.
So much for one-stop-shopping.
The only redeeming thing was that we’d gone to two different locations.
Walmart #1 had most of what we needed…
But it didn’t have much of a selection of binders.
Who knew it was so difficult to find the perfect binder?
One that zippers shut and doesn’t pop open and create an explosive mess?
Is that too much to ask?
And we just had to have pens in a minimum of 5,000 different colors.
And that mini automatic pencil sharpener…
Because who in their right mind enjoys the tedious task of sharpening six dozen pencils in one sitting?
It was either that, or pay five times the price for the convenience of pre-sharpened pencils.
At least the pencil sharpener will pay for itself soon enough.
If it lasts long enough, that is.
But at least I knew better than to wait until tax-free weekend to start shopping.
I can barely handle Walmart on a good day.
An hour of pushing and shoving my way through Walmart is almost enough to drop me to my knees in the center of the wine aisle while hyperventilating into a paper bag.
So there we were at Walmart, smack in the middle of the chaos.
Like that’s ever a good idea.
And then those boys of mine did what they do best:
They wandered off to the electronics department.
So much for that.
Ten minutes later, they were busy trying on new heads.
Plush mascot heads, that is.
For whatever unfathomable reason, there was an enormous bin of assorted animal heads by the checkout area.
Such an interesting choice of so-called impulse items.
Was Walmart getting ready for Halloween?
As if back to school madness wasn’t already maddening enough.
But at least I managed to buy myself some cool new notebooks.
Because why the hell not, right?
Besides, I needed a few more notebooks.
It sure beats scribbling my jumbled, random thoughts on toilet paper in the middle of the night.
A few days earlier, I had taken my younger son to Dick’s Sporting Goods to look for clothes.
Usually, he’s all about Nike.
Nike, Nike, Nike.
And nothing else will do.
But he didn’t like a single article of clothing at Dick’s.
He did, however, see exactly one backpack he liked.
An $80 Under Armor monstrosity.
More heavy-duty weapon than child-friendly carryall, it resembled The Hulk, condensed and smashed into a sturdy, yet incredibly unsightly, backpack.
Its water-resistant properties and ability to take out a large rodent obviously justified the exorbitant price tag.
I would have considered spending that much on a single backpack…
If- and only if- my child would’ve been willing to walk to and from school every time it rained.
You know, to get our money’s worth.
Oh, and it would’ve also needed to last until he’s 18.
At the very least.
Sounds reasonable enough, no?
Needless to say, we left without getting a backpack.
He didn’t like anything else there…
But he did buy a plush deer.
I suppose there’s no need for shirts or pants when he’s perfectly content wearing nothing but shorts and his favorite hoodie, anyway.
But alas, it’s almost time again.
Back to the madness.
Back to school.
As long as we make it through the year without telling everyone to Go to Michigan, I’m sure we’ll be just fine.
~Happy Friday! Can you believe it’s August already? Where is the time going? Geez! Anyway, hope you all have a fantastic weekend and enjoy the last few weeks of summer break!~
This, apparently, is what school supply shopping looks like…
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