Land Ho! Oh, Whoa!

Holy crap, Batman!

My two-year anniversary in No Man’s Land is just days away!

So, in honor of having survived long enough to reach this milestone…

20 Things I Kinda, Sorta Like About No Man’s Land

  1. I get to play a riveting game of Guess the Farm Animal every time I leave the house. (FYI, I still suck at this game. Horses, donkeys…is there really that big a difference?)
  2. Moving to a new place has meant getting out of a rut, trying new things, and perhaps most importantly, has also given me a much-needed push in a new direction toward achieving my goals. (This blog was, after all, inspired and created from all the ensuing mayhem.)
  3. I really like my new house. (As my younger son put it, more room to make more mess!)
  4. Mysteriously intriguing sunrises and sunsets. (I’m starting to appreciate all those cloudy days.)
  5. My boys have gotten to experience real snow (and snow days!) and build snowmen for the first time in their lives. (Yeah. Seriously.)
  6. There’s a terrific selection of restaurants that are NOT steakhouses, so this vegetarian probably won’t die of starvation. (Woo hoo!)
  7. The school system out here is a major improvement, with happy teachers and better funding. (A true win-win.)
  8. Bright, happy sunflowers blooming everywhere. Prior to coming out here, I hadn’t even realized they’re actually wildflowers. (Sad but true.)
  9. Moving here with all the stresses and challenges of not knowing where exactly we would live, where the boys would go to school… In retrospect, that’s insane! (Or maybe insanely brave…)
  10. Spring, summer, fall, winter…There are all four seasons! Granted, sometimes they can all be experienced in the course of a week, but after years of being in a desert, this is exciting. (Leaves changing color! Snow! Flowers blooming!)
  11. In addition to cows, this place has goats. And everyone knows that indiscriminate eaters such as goats can be useful in maintaining a clean house. (Note to self- grab goat from nearby field on drive home today.)
  12. The bipolar weather is far from boring. (Tornadoes, earthquakes, and hail! Oh my!)
  13. Cornfields, hay barrels, and wheat fields. (It’s like being in another world.)
  14. I’ve grown to like these horizontal traffic lights out here. (And now I think all those “normal” vertical ones look weird.)
  15. The roads are awesomely bad. Pothole-laden roads make for an exciting adventure every time. (I’ve lost track of how many times my car has become airborne and almost sailed over a field of cows.)
  16. Meeting awesome new people I wouldn’t have met otherwise if I hadn’t moved here. (Always a good thing.)
  17. Redbud trees. The first sign of spring, with their intense purple flowers. (I want one.)
  18. Bastard Cabbage. (The implications themselves are not actually funny at all, but the name always makes me giggle, as I envision how that…interesting (?) name might’ve come about.)
  19. It’s funny to watch farm machinery hauling ass on highways, passing all the slower-moving sedans and SUVs. (Irony at its finest.)
  20. Change can be a good thing, and what might initially seem like a negative thing may actually turn out to be a blessing in disguise. (Having a sense of humor and making the best out of a situation can really go a long way.)

~Happy Thursday, everyone! It’s true: sometimes change isn’t such a horrible thing. So embrace it, and always look for the silver lining.~

Looks welcoming enough, right? (Ha! Run while you still can!)

Looks welcoming enough, right? (Ha! Run while you still can!)

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H2O Woes

Not only is water important for survival…

It’s probably also going to be the very thing that ends up doing me in.

It’s true that water is simply a compound of hydrogen and oxygen.

Seems harmless enough.

But a person can drown in just an inch of water, for goodness sake.

Clearly, not one of water’s most redeeming qualities.

Water is actually pretty fascinating, though.

For instance:

  • Tap water can contain molecules that dinosaurs drank.
  • The human brain is 70%  water.
  • It takes 150 liters of water to make a pint of beer.
  • Human blood is 83% water.
  • People can live a month without food, but just a week without water.
  • Water covers 70% of the Earth’s surface.
  • Roughly 1/3 of household water consumption originates from the toilet.
  • A jellyfish is 95% water.

And did you know 3.4 million people die each year from water-related causes?

Yikes!

Granted, most of that is due to waterborne illnesses.

And dehydration.

Oh, and water intoxication.

That’s right.

Drinking too much water can cause fatal water intoxication.

Aside from the fact that I already drink far too much water, I’m also freakishly concerned about another death-by-water type of scenario:

Sometimes, I choke on water.

Like it’s just too damn hard for small amounts of water to go straight down my throat without taking a virtually lung-collapsing detour.

Hell, sometimes I somehow manage to choke on absolutely nothing.

Well, technically, it’s air that I’m choking on.

But that’s beside the point.

Water is hazardous to your health!

If you’re even remotely at risk for death by water intoxication, you’re probably better off sticking to alcohol for dinner tonight.

Might I recommend a decadent Mudslide, beer battered fries, and soft pretzels with beer cheese?

Oh, right.

That level of alcohol consumption would most definitely lead to dehydration.

Which would lead to the need for consuming water for rehydration.

Which could lead to choking to death on said water.

Although, in all fairness…

I’m probably at far greater risk for doing myself in by eating a smorgasbord of questionable-looking food that’s ever-so-slightly past the sell-by date.

From my own fridge.

So much for trying to be less wasteful.

~Happy Friday! Hope you all have a fantastic weekend!~

Don't be fooled. Water has mastered the art of being both friend and foe.

Don’t be fooled. Water has mastered the art of being both friend and foe.

The Badness of Bart

Don’t have a cow, man!

El Barto.

Bartman.

Bart Simpson.

Homer and Marge’s impressively underachieving firstborn.

Mischievous and rebellious, this kid is definitely not a role-model child by any stretch of the imagination.

But he is one of America’s favorite juvenile delinquents.

Presenting ten inspiring quotes from the infamous Bart:

bart simpson try to try

(That’s a start, I suppose.)

bart simpson can't prove anythi

(Little wonder this kid spends his days in detention.)

bart simpson crazy people

(Poor Bartman. That’s actually kind of sad. )

bart simpson good or bad

(Right. You just keep telling yourself that, kid.)

bart simpson damned if you do

(Truer words have never been spoken. Especially not by a 10 year-old with a penchant for bad behavior.)

bart simpson liar

(Blatant honesty is always so refreshing.)

bart simpson true meaning of ch

(Once again, Bart is slightly misguided as the result of poor parenting. On a side note: leave it to Ho-Ho-Homer to spread cheer through strangulation.)

bart simpson sucks and blows

(No point in sugar-coating the truth, is there?)

bart simpson never give up

(Well, he started off on the right track with this one.)

bart simpson stare at the sun

(Sounds like the kind of advice you’d expect from Homer. Proof that the apple doesn’t fall far.)

Bart may not be an overachiever like his sister Lisa, but he sure has perfected the art of trouble-making.

And he’s a master prankster.

Well, what do you really expect from a character whose name is the anagram for the word “brat”?

Ay carumba!

~Hope you all have a great weekend! Don’t forget to also check out The Wisdom of Homer, The Logic of Lisa, and The Modesty of Marge.~

Happy Happy Joy Joy!

Holy guacamole!

Tomorrow marks the one year anniversary of Comically Quirky!

Let me tell ya, releasing that very first post was both exhilarating and nauseating.

And terrifying.

Yeah, definitely terrifying.

Would anybody actually read it?

Would they like it?

Or worse… Would people really read it?

And judge me? Or hate me?

Oh, the horror!

I’d never been so terrified in my  life.

And yet…

It was a huge step forward.

My bff Muriel deserves a shout out here for her role in all this. With her persistent encouragement and a gentle nudge forward, I proceeded with this venture.

Sure, it took me a while to actually take the leap…But I finally did it!

Muriel urged me to quit complaining about cows and cornfields and do something more productive.

And so I began writing about my humorous experiences as a transplant to No Man’s Land.

No Man’s Land deserves a bit of gratitude for creating a period of unsettling change that brought with it a plethora of insanely offbeat experiences, which clearly continue to inspire this blog.

Huge thanks to my Facebook buddies, who were among the very first to know about this venture and read my blog. They have been and still are the most amazing supporters. (Yeah, you guys know who you are. And just know that I love you all for it!) Thanks for having faith in me and being my support.

Speaking of support…my mom, husband, and even my boys have all been amazing support and encouragement for my writing. I am honored to have such wonderful people in my life.

And…a special shout out to Evil Squirrel, who was one of my very first followers. Well, outside of immediate family and coworkers who had faced the threat of either reading my blog or being disowned.

So yeah, someone who had actually chosen to read my blog with his own free will- that’s huge. Here’s to unicorns, my friend!

Writing has always been my strength and my passion, and I plan to continue to use my naturally warped and twisted tendencies to brighten the day for others through humor.

Please be sure to check out The Journey to No Man’s Land, my very first post that kicked off all this insanity.

~Thanks to all my followers and fellow bloggers, family and friends. You guys rock!~

What better way to celebrate Comically Quirky's anniversary than with Ren and Stimpy's Happy Happy Joy Joy song!

What better way to celebrate Comically Quirky’s anniversary than with Ren and Stimpy’s Happy Happy Joy Joy song!

Hungry, Hungry Kiddos

Chicken nuggets?

Again?!?

Didn’t we already have that?

Well, duh!

When you’re sitting at the kitchen table for 16 hours a day…

Yeah.

There’s bound to be some degree of repetition.

Macaroni and cheese three times in two days?

Now, that is clearly acceptable.

God, I love summertime.

What’s not to love about it?

Oh, right…

Envision a never-ending game of Hungry, Hungry Hippos, if you will.

With a pair of hungry boys instead of hungry hippos.

And with more food falling on the floor than is actually going into anybody’s mouth.

Kit Kat wrappers plague the dryer and trails of chocolate chip cookie crumbs create a path from the kitchen to halfway up the staircase .

String cheese wrappers and empty juice boxes hide alongside long-forgotten Halloween candy under their beds.

You always make us eat chicken!

(I can assure you that’s not the case. I am vegetarian, after all, and I’m not touching that crap any more than I have to.)

I don’t like raisins anymore!

(Halfway through a full box of raisins.)

Can’t I just have some cookies instead?

(The fridge, freezer, and pantry all look dangerously empty.)

Water?

You’re giving us water?!?

You hate us!

Enough, already! Get outside and do something!

But it’s too hot to go outside!

Hey, wait! Is that the ice cream truck?

We’re going outside!

Can we have some money?

You hate us!

Aw, man! We never get to eat!

And on that note…

Looks like it’s about time to feed the animals precious boys again.

Chicken nuggets, anyone?

For those of you with kids, you’ll totally get this. For those of you without kids, enjoy a good laugh at my expense.

For those of you with kids, you’ll totally get this. For those of you without kids, enjoy a good laugh at my expense.