Valentine’s Day may be a few days past, but testosterone is still in the air.
Did I say testosterone?
I meant to say, love.
At any rate, my two boys have been in full-throttle paramour mode, with the unfettered spirit of Valentine’s Day lingering.
The younger one bashfully leaving anonymous gifts of stuffed animals and chocolate to a special someone before sprinting off in the opposite direction.
The older one brazenly standing outside, waiting for the bus, come hell or hypothermia.
One gifting with presents.
The other gifting with presence.
With his less-than-subtle, sudden need for fresh air on a rainy, 35-degree morning, it leaves little question to the motives of Romeo Number One.
Every day before and after school, this child stands outside at the bus stop.
Did I mention he doesn’t even ride the bus?
Let me tell ya, this boy has quite the collection of girls.
One minute, he’s going out for ice cream and a movie with one girl.
The next thing I know, he’s talking on the phone for hours…
With a different girl.
And then the next day, he’s eagerly waiting to escort yet another girl to/from the bus stop.
It’s good to have options, right?
Meanwhile, he avidly avoids Stalker Girl, who freaks the hell out of him with her steady stream of obsessively psychotic texts throughout the day.
But getting back to my sweet younger son.
Romeo Number 2 spent the day before Valentine’s Day freaking out over whether to get a card or gift for a certain girl that he thinks he likes.
Did I mention that she used to like him…
Back when he didn’t think he liked her very much?
She liked him first when he didn’t know if he liked her.
And now he likes her.
Which left him with a dilemma.
To buy a card or not to buy?
Or get a gift or give her nothing?
To tell, or not to tell?
Torn between craving the glorious attention…
Or hiding under his desk like a turtle retracting into its shell.
The joys of girl trouble and tween issues.
It’s soooo complicated.
Both of my boys spend hours each morning in front of the mirror like mini Adonises, getting their hair just right…
All while protesting showers and forgetting to put on deodorant.
Ah, the sweetness of childhood amour.
Paired up with the joy of adolescence, it’s a sure recipe for…
As in Love Stinks, that song from The Wedding Singer?
Except I highly doubt Adam Sandler was singing about adolescent hygiene.
Isn’t it great?
Oh, but it gets better!
Romeo Number One will soon be trying out for School Mascot!
Which is technically part of the school’s Spirit Team.
Which means being part of the Cheerleading Squad.
As in, being the only guy among all those cheerleaders.
I think not.
Love is still in the air, and my two Romeos are on the loose.
Perhaps we ought to move to Utah and start a polygamist colony…