The Perilous Piñata Beatdown

What could beat a whacking, smacking good time?

Why, whacking and smacking a helpless piñata, of course!

But not just any piñata.

cheeseburger piñata!

On a crazy child’s birthday!

Stegosaurus Boy celebrated his birthday in his typical bat-swinging style earlier this week.

He requested a Calvin and Hobbes theme.

Which, evidently, fits our typical pattern of choosing the most obscure themes possible.

No cake decorations, no paper plates, no banners, no nothing to be found on the face of this earth.

Not on Amazon, Etsy, Party City, or anywhere else in the world. 

Well, besides on eBay. 

For thousands of dollars.

Like that’s gonna happen.

Sorry, boys.

I love you, but no way will I be spending more on birthday party supplies than I did on my own wedding.

Last year, my older son begged for a WWE-themed party.

Easy enough, right?

Oh, but he had a special request for his cake design:

John Cena vs. Bill Nye.

Bill Nye?

The Science Guy?


Interesting matchup, but okay.

I’m always up for a challenge.

Especially with a couple of great sidekicks, namely Google and my printer.

Unfortunately for Stegosaurus Boy, I was not able to find a Calvin and Hobbes piñata this year.

Nor was I able to create his requested life-sized Hobbes plush out of God-knows-what on six days notice.

I also couldn’t find a Stegosaurus piñata.

That would’ve been the next best thing.

After all, my boy likes Calvin and Hobbes, and Calvin likes dinosaurs, and so does my boy…

See where I’m going with this?

Yeah, well.

Excuse my far-fetched logic.

At least I try.

But fortunately, there was a fascinatingly unique one at Target that caught my eye.

A cheeseburger!

A freaking adorable smiling cheeseburger piñata.

And so I bought it.

And then I stuffed it with glow sticks and plastic dinosaurs and Dum Dum pops.

Because I’d long learned my lesson about stuffing Matchbox cars into piñatas.

Bad idea.

Especially if you’re not a fan of having dozens of small metal objects raining down on you like the dangerous little projectiles they truly are.

Whack, smack, whack!

In this household, it’s just not enough to whack the crap out of a piñata, collect all the candy, and happily move along.


These boys have to tear the piñata apart like maniacs with a prized wishbone for the grand finale.

No one is content until the poor thing looks like it’d been ripped apart by a pack of feral wolves.

How’s that for a cheeseburger-smashing celebration?

~Happy Friday, everyone! Hope you’re all enjoying the first few days of summer so far! (Or winter, if you’re lucky enough to be chilling in the southern hemisphere.) Have a great weekend!~

The "before" picture. Look at how happy this sweet, smiley cheeseburger was...until my boys came along.

The “before” picture. Look at how happy this sweet, smiley cheeseburger was…until my boys came along.


40 thoughts on “The Perilous Piñata Beatdown

  1. Oh, see – you give them too much freedom with “these” requests! Hahahah. I’m like, here we are at such and such store…ok, now, this store…and what do you like? We can go online… See something you like within reasonable price…ok. NO what do you want – because inevitably it will only be available on EBAY for 1,0000 of dollars! It’s what do you want out of what we saw?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Actually, I’m the bigger problem- I want to find whatever cool things I envision. 😜 But alas, it’s rarely that easy, and I’m usually left wanting for a better selection myself after visiting a store. Why aren’t there aisles upon aisles of reasonably priced options for my convenience? 😛


  2. Very cute. My only concern is the saturated fat and cholesterol in that pinata. If they only tore a small portion of the pinata there should be no problems. If they tore the WHOLE pinata, I would suggest a VAP blood panel profile. It looks like it is a very large BURGER. Next year you might want to seek out the Soy Burger pinata as a healthy alternative. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    • While they may have torn the poor cheeseburger apart like animals, the good news is they didn’t actually eat any of it. At least, not to my knowledge. But with boys, I suppose one can never be sure… 😛

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Spending more on a birthday party than you did on your wedding? LOL. Still LOL. Despite not being at all related to the proposed theme, that IS a freaking cute piñata. Fellow blogger Marissa (and her family band, the Cheesebergens) would love it. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • The cheeseburger is probably the cutest pinata we’d ever had. Being vegetarian, I don’t know whether I should’ve been pleased or appalled at the level of battering that poor thing had endured. 😛

      Liked by 1 person

    • I always liked Calvin and Hobbes myself, yet I had no idea how impossible it is to find Calvin and Hobbes merchandise. If only I knew how to sew worth a crap, the poor kid could’ve had the life-sized Hobbes he’d requested for his birthday… 😛

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I have watched in befuddled amazement over the last few years as pinatas apparently became a thing and we went from not even carrying them to selling the crap out of these paper mache patsies. No Calvin & Hobbes or stegosauri at Mecca either…. but we have plenty of Minions to beat the heck out of.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Oh my God Angelica, John Cena vs Bill Nye…too funny. And that picture of the cheeseburger pinata was way too crazy. When you talked about your son in an earlier post, there was something about him and his imagination that seemed so familiar and then you mentioned how he liked Calvin and Hobbes (my absolute FAVORITE!), I could immediately picture your son as a real life Calvin. Just think of the stories you’ll be telling your future grandchildren about the adventures you had with your sons. Simply LOVED THIS!!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks! Yeah, my boy is sort of like a real life Calvin. While I wasn’t able to make him a life-sized Hobbes plush, I was able to find a small tiger plush who looks similar enough to Hobbes. The only thing is, he came with Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups and sings a song when you press his belly. Close enough…

      BTW, we decided that Bill Nye could probably hold his own fairly well in a fight with John Cena. His scientific knowledge makes for a great asset, so if he could utilize some of his experiments in the ring, he’d really take the cake. Literally. 😀


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