Spatulas and Spiderman

/ Quirky Girl

Crash!

There’s only one explanation for this.

My house clearly was designed for a ginormous NBA player.

While Shaquille O’Neal would likely be in his element here…

I can’t reach past the second shelf in any of my kitchen cabinets.

Not easily, anyway.

And so I climb.

Or I whack things off those higher shelves.

With a spatula.

Which is why sometimes things go flying off the shelves and hit the ground instead of landing in my hand as intended.

Like that glass I just tried to knock off the third shelf.

Thank goodness it wasn’t the fourth shelf, or everything might’ve come crashing down at my feet.

Usually I can thread a spatula through the handle of a mug and hoist it down like a firefighter valiantly rescuing someone from a burning building.

But not everything in the cabinet has handles.

And so it doesn’t always work out quite the way I plan.

Evident by the occasional crashes and thuds.

Cake pans.

Touch up paint cans.

These things are all out of my reach range.

The cereal boxes are also well out of my reach, in the pantry.

But I don’t feel bad whacking those off the shelf with my spatula.

Because at least if they hit the ground, they don’t shatter and spew shards everywhere.

Sure, there might be a few rogue Cheerios on the loose.

But it’s preferable to glass shards all over the floor.

In case you’re wondering, I do have a ladder.

Several, actually.

But I don’t always feel like hauling one around.

By the time I locate one, haul it over, yank it open…

I could’ve already scaled the kitchen counter faster than Spiderman and grabbed whatever I needed.

So yeah.

I save ladders for more pressing matters.

Like for when the fire alarm goes off in the middle of the night and I’m a solid two feet away from even reaching the damn thing to deactivate it.

Fortunately, I’m a pro at climbing random fixtures.

I seem to be part Spiderman, part monkey.

Wait.

Would this make me a spider monkey?!

Hmm.

At barely over five feet tall, so many things are just out of my reach.

And so I am forced to resort to climbing onto the kitchen and bathroom counters to gain a few inches.

Or feet.

But not just at home, either.

I also scale the shelves at various stores without a second thought.

Oh, come  on.

Whose bright idea was it to stock products  so far above my head?

I rest my case.

I gotta do what I gotta do.

Especially since I don’t bring my handy spatula to the store with me.

Because that’d be weird, right?

The mighty spatula.

Small but powerful.

Just like me.

The Spiderman monkey girl.

I can’t reach much of anything.

And I’m okay with that.

On the bright side…

At least I’m rarely in danger of hitting my head on a doorway.

And yet I still manage to whack my head on car doors.

Go figure.

~Happy Friday, friends! Have a great weekend!~

An actual image of me in action...

An actual image of me in action…

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46 thoughts on “Spatulas and Spiderman”

  1. Hysterical, as always. When I was able to go to the store I had to ask others to scale the shelves for me. 🙂 I missed you terribly. I just got home after almost a year-long stay in the hospital (and seven surgeries). So happy to read your funny posts again. You always make me smile. ❤

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  2. Haha! I have my able spatula too. When an aunt whose daughter is over 6 feet tall cheekily asked me how I ever manage to get those jars that occupy the last shelf of my pantry, I remember telling her that I might seem small but luckily I have the brains to manage.

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  3. I loved this Angelica. I showed it to my wife and daughter because they can truly relate to your experiences. My wife is only 4 feet 10 and my daughter is 4 feet 8. They really have problems of their own. Glad to know that there are others in the world out there that are going through the same thing.

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  7. Even as a six foot tall “giant,” I think some of our top shelves at work are a bit too high. One of my favorite tricks for grabbing stuff way back on a top shelf when we’d have to pull stuff forward was to grab something in a trigger bottle and use the trigger to grab onto the out of reach merchandise. So it falls forward and maybe spills a little? At least some people will be able to reach it now…

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  8. I’m guessing that you and Randy Newman are not the best of friends! (Now the Short People sing is stuck in my head!) You make everything an adventure! Have you ever gotten way up high and then were stuck until help arrived? LOL! Also, how do those items end up in the nosebleed section to begin with? Methinks you’re just a wee bit spatula happy!
    Fun post!

    Mona

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    • It’s true; I do like my spatula. But then, I’m a fan of things that are both functional and versatile like that. 😛

      No, I’ve never gotten myself stuck. Fortunately, my ability to jump off things rivals my impressive climbing abilities. 😉

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  9. This is great! Too funny, I love the image of you climbing in the grocery store (and I agree!) This line is great: “The Spiderman monkey girl.” The spiderman graphic at the end is priceless. Thanks for the humor – I really appreciate you! ~Debbie

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  10. “I also scale the shelves at various stores without a second thought. Oh, come on. Whose bright idea was it to stock products so far above my head?”
    LOL! I do this, too. Just last week, I used shoved aside a few loaves of bread and used the shelf as a step to get the restock-box of chocolate stroopwaffels off the top shelf at Dollar General. The month before, it was Hershey’s syrup at Kroger. I can think of no good reason to put chocolate items on the top shelf. 🙂

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    • Ha! That’s a good point. Chocolate items should always be stocked at eye level. It’s just logical marketing strategy. Otherwise, they’re practically begging for kids (and some of us smaller individuals) to bust out their best Spiderman moves. 😛

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    • Ugh! Overheard storage bins are not my friends. If I can’t cram my bag under my seat and must resort to reaching up above my head with a carry on bag that weighs as much as I do, things really start to get ugly. 😛

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  17. A kindred spirit, at barely 5’1″ myself, I arm myself with a broken pair of laundry tongs. Great for knocking down those kitchen paper rolls and no damage done – tall glasses now that’s a different matter and to be tackled with great care. I too have ladders hidden in different locations, out of sight. I feel your pain, but sadly I definitely can no longer do the spiderman climb, so I envy you your prowess. Great post.

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  19. Haha! This makes me laugh, because I’m the same way. I’ve used a spatula, a wooden spoon, tongs, and forks to try to knock something off those higher shelves (which aren’t really that high) and they most usually fall on the floor. I’m not real good at catching. I have a step ladder, but too much trouble, and as clumsy as I am, I’m afraid I’d fall off!
    Happy Friday and weekend to you! 🙂

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