There’s only one explanation for this.
My house clearly was designed for a ginormous NBA player.
While Shaquille O’Neal would likely be in his element here…
I can’t reach past the second shelf in any of my kitchen cabinets.
Not easily, anyway.
And so I climb.
Or I whack things off those higher shelves.
With a spatula.
Which is why sometimes things go flying off the shelves and hit the ground instead of landing in my hand as intended.
Like that glass I just tried to knock off the third shelf.
Thank goodness it wasn’t the fourth shelf, or everything might’ve come crashing down at my feet.
Usually I can thread a spatula through the handle of a mug and hoist it down like a firefighter valiantly rescuing someone from a burning building.
But not everything in the cabinet has handles.
And so it doesn’t always work out quite the way I plan.
Evident by the occasional crashes and thuds.
Touch up paint cans.
These things are all out of my reach range.
The cereal boxes are also well out of my reach, in the pantry.
But I don’t feel bad whacking those off the shelf with my spatula.
Because at least if they hit the ground, they don’t shatter and spew shards everywhere.
Sure, there might be a few rogue Cheerios on the loose.
But it’s preferable to glass shards all over the floor.
In case you’re wondering, I do have a ladder.
But I don’t always feel like hauling one around.
By the time I locate one, haul it over, yank it open…
I could’ve already scaled the kitchen counter faster than Spiderman and grabbed whatever I needed.
I save ladders for more pressing matters.
Like for when the fire alarm goes off in the middle of the night and I’m a solid two feet away from even reaching the damn thing to deactivate it.
Fortunately, I’m a pro at climbing random fixtures.
I seem to be part Spiderman, part monkey.
Would this make me a spider monkey?!
At barely over five feet tall, so many things are just out of my reach.
And so I am forced to resort to climbing onto the kitchen and bathroom counters to gain a few inches.
But not just at home, either.
I also scale the shelves at various stores without a second thought.
Oh, come on.
Whose bright idea was it to stock products so far above my head?
I rest my case.
I gotta do what I gotta do.
Especially since I don’t bring my handy spatula to the store with me.
Because that’d be weird, right?
The mighty spatula.
Small but powerful.
Just like me.
The Spiderman monkey girl.
I can’t reach much of anything.
And I’m okay with that.
On the bright side…
At least I’m rarely in danger of hitting my head on a doorway.
And yet I still manage to whack my head on car doors.
~Happy Friday, friends! Have a great weekend!~