Sardonically Stressed

Stress.

It’s an unfortunate and undesirable side-effect of simply being alive.

Some days, it’s lemons, lemons, and more lemons.

For everyone overwhelmed with stress lately, take heart.

Here’s proof that there’s always humor, even in times of stress:

stress18

(In all fairness, it should be noted that murder is rarely doctor-prescribed.)

stress24

(Are you kidding me? Way to burst my bubble!)

stress34

(I’d be hesitant to attempt this. I mean, what if I cram one down someone’s throat, then Karma steps in and makes them spit it up…straight into my eyeball?)

stress15

(Did you know it takes 45 minutes of meditation to equal the effects of a single satisfying glass of wine? Okay, fine. I just made that up.)

stress6

(A sure sign of mastering ki breathing! Or having taken up drinking…)

stress22

(Is being eaten alive really preferable to a little stress? My guess is probably not.)

stress1

(Finally! A refreshingly drug-free solution that’s both highly effective and easy to use. What’s not to love?)

stress9

(As Henry Kissinger once said, “There cannot be a stressful crisis next week. My schedule is already full.”)

stress8

(Sure, it helps reduce stress…unless you’re prone to perfectionistic, OCD-type tendencies. In which case, coloring can actually increase your stress levels.)

stress31

(Overall, pretty good advice from a dog. But maybe just stick with the walk away part and forget about peeing all over the place. It’s just not classy.)

stress33

(Food for thought, right? Speaking of which…)

stress26

(This might be stating the obvious, but here goes: You should never be your own food source. Never. No matter how stressed you may be, this is a horrible solution.)

stress29

(I’m stressed just thinking about how true this statement is.)

stress38

(This one has become my personal life motto. It makes me happy.)

Throwing things can be great stress relief.

No, really. It’s true!

And if you need some creative ideas for what to do with all those lemons life has been tossing your way, I’ve got some excellent suggestions.

Go on, give it a try!

Feel better now?

Excellent.

Stress?

What stress?

Ain’t nobody got time for that nonsense.

~Happy Friday, friends! Hope your weekend is relaxing, enjoyable, and stress-free. And if it’s not, I hope you always find a way to make lemonade. Or a lemon martini…~

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43 thoughts on “Sardonically Stressed

  1. I need it this 😜, throwing lemons and stressballs at somebody might be nice. And I didn’t know stressed spell backwards is desserts!! 😋🍰🍫🍪 that should tell me something, I will take that very seriously. 😅

    Liked by 1 person

  2. So I’m NOT supposed to kill the people who stress me out? Darn. That’s not something I can go back and do over. Well, live and learn. At least I’ll live and learn. I love the idea of throwing lemons at people. It’s so much more satisfying than rolling them on the counter to help get the juices flowing. And does feeding my goldfish to my ducks count as stress relief?

    Liked by 1 person

    • From what I understand, killing people is generally frowned upon, regardless if someone is the direct cause of all your woes. Throwing lemons is a great alternative, though. Sure, it’s not the most socially acceptable, but it’s certainly a much better alternative to murder. 😛

      As for feeding goldfish to ducks… I’m a vegetarian, so this would not be my preferred method of stress relief. But if it makes you happy… 😬

      Liked by 1 person

      • Feeding the goldfish to ducks isn’t my idea of a great night at home but the ducks love it.
        Throwing lemons at people is, no doubt, a slightly more legal way to relieve stress (although you’d probably be charged with assault) but lemons are expensive!

        Like

    • Oh no! Fortunately, laughter is magical and powerful. The world definitely needs a lot more humor and a lot less stress.

      Hope you’re able to unwind and destress this weekend. Take a deep breath, and be sure to read (or watch!) something funny. You deserve a break. 🙂

      Like

  3. I certainly feel less stress after taking that tour. I must say I can’t throw lemons at anyone because I love them so much. Then again if you bring me bad lemons you’re fairly likely to take one in the back of the head as you depart. Wow. I guess I CAN throw lemons after all…!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. One of my favorite Maxine cartoons (the old lady from Hallmark) says “When life gives you lemons, tuck ’em in your bra. Couldn’t hurt, might help.” This reminded me of that, for some reason. I’d like to test the hypothesis about the wine vs meditation. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Love this! Just reading the collection and your side-comments were enough to release the stress! I’d go for the dessert if I were to choose one, although throwing that stressball is really tempting, haha! Have a happy weekend! 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  6. These are awesome! I used to have a “button” on my desk at work called The Hamster of Happiness. It shouted some of the most insane crap that always bent me over in tears. These are pretty much the same thing!

    Liked by 2 people

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