The Air up There

Fun fact:

The average couple in Delaware fights 24 times more frequently in a single month than the average UFC fighter battles it out in an entire year.

A whopping 73 times per month, to be exact.

Um, what?!?

How are there even enough hours in the day for that?

Do people have to schedule their brawls on the calendar?

Set daily fight reminders on their phones?

Dedicate extra time during the workday to hostile quarreling by text?

And what’s all the arguing even about in the first place?

Team Yankees or Team Red Sox?

Potato or potahto?

Blue-green or green-blue?

Seriously, what the hell?

Do people keep an ongoing list of possible topics to argue about?

I’m all for making to-do lists, but not of this particular variety.

Have these people not heard of choosing their battles?

Or do they all thrive on the thrill of perpetually high blood pressure?

Did they all marry complete assholes?

Or their polar opposites, at the very least?

Or possibly something from a different species altogether?

Like a boxing kangaroo?

I don’t know whether to congratulate the people of Delaware for setting such a high precedent or recommend that they all seek psychiatric help.

ASAP.

Because this can’t possibly be good for their health.

Where did they find these people to survey, anyway?

The county jail?

Preferably people who are guaranteed to be featured on upcoming episodes of Cops?

I’m personally a fan of peace, so this is all well beyond my level of comprehension.

73 arguments.

In one month.

With the same person.

This number doesn’t even factor in all the other human beings they’re all forced to interact with in the course of a day.

Does anyone in Delaware have inner peace?

Because I’m getting ulcers just thinking about it.

The national average for arguments between couples is only 19 times a month.

Still a fairly hefty number.

But it pales greatly in comparison to good ol’ Delaware.

What the hell is in the air in Delaware?

The EPA must really be letting things slide there.

Why is there no travel ban in place for Delaware?

Bickering, brawling, squabbling…

I’m starting to wonder if it has anything to do with the close proximity to Washington, D.C.?

Maybe these are all attorneys who are paid to argue for a living?

And then they leave work and continue to argue with their spouses/significant others?

Delaware.

The very first state.

The Diamond State.

The Greeks believed diamonds were tears of the gods.

Kinda makes sense.

I’m sure there are plenty of tears being shed with all this mayhem.

Nowadays, diamonds are viewed as a symbol of love.

And I’m sure there’s plenty of love in Delaware.

Or not.

Alaska, on the other hand, sets the standard with the least amount of arguing.

A relatively minisculeΒ nine arguments per month.

It’s probably far too cold there for anyone to even bother getting out of bed in the first place.

Hey, wait a second!

Maybe that’s the solution to all of life’s problems…

~It’s time to mix things up a bit! Starting next week, Comically Quirky will be adding an exciting new mini-feature! Back by popular demand, Jett the Dog (a.k.a. @thebiglybestestdoggie) will star in Tuesday Tails ‘n’ Tweets, as he shares more hilariously quirky random thoughts about the challenges of…well…being a dog. So stay tuned, and have a great weekend!~

There's something in the air in Delaware, and it ain't good...

There’s something in the air in Delaware, and it ain’t good…

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29 thoughts on “The Air up There

  1. This is probably the funniest article I have ever read about Delaware! I am a born and bred Delawarean; born here, went to school here, live here, and plan on dying here. I think we just have a lot of different people living in one spot. Nice commentary! Come visit some time. You would love it!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I think I lack the willpower to ever live in Delaware if arguing around the clock is a prerequisite. πŸ˜†

      I have to wonder if living in such a densely populated place is the real issue. Delaware: small state with loads of residents and high frequency of arguments. Alaska: largest state, yet relatively sparsely populated, and lowest incidence of arguments. Hmmm…

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Absolutely positively too too crazy to contemplate!
    I’d like to add one more ‘argument reason’ to your list amidst the ‘blue-green or green-blue’ and that would be:
    Red or Green?
    As I’m married to a New Mexican, this is a big deal (luckily we both heartily agree to the Green answer, but then that means we have to **share**!
    πŸ˜€
    Looking forward to tuesday’s doggie tails.

    Like

    • Haha! It’s insane, isn’t it? I’m almost concerned we’re inadvertently giving Delawareans more ideas for future arguments. 😜

      Thanks for your support as I attempt to add a little extra doggie humor to the week! 😊

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Maybe having a bicker, a different point of view, a liking for a different television program is being counted as a fight? It seems extreme to me … maybe the people of Delaware are prone to exaggerate. 😲🎧

    Liked by 3 people

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