Who needs that?
Well, if responsibility is your goal…
Then pet fish are definitely not the way to go.
PetSmart’s Black Friday ad, boasting 50% off all small pets, really got me thinking.
It brought back memories of That One Christmas five years ago.
Santa had oh so generously brought my boys a very nice fish tank, filled with cool fish tank ornaments like treasure chests and Sponge Bob Square Pants and his pineapple under the sea…
And Sponge Bob’s bizarre pet meowing snail, Gary.
All that was missing were the fish.
So my husband and I gifted our boys each with a certificate for one Mickey Mouse Platy fish apiece.
Which turned out to be a huge mistake.
Or, rather, a life lesson.
A lesson in The Circle of Life.
The cycle of life.
The whole experience served as a constant lesson in the disturbing never-ending cycle of death in a fish tank plagued by frequent new life, even more frequent death…
And inbreeding of epidemic proportions.
Sure, the kids were excited at first.
We started off with three fish:
Chloe-Dante, Bailey, and…and…
Well, some other fish.
We soon added snails Gary and Larry.
And then a cool sucker fish, creatively named Sucker Pluto.
We would all sit there like scientists, measuring for proper ph levels to keep everything properly in balance for the safety of our beloved new pets.
But after a matter of months, nobody cared enough anymore to clean the algae-filled tank or even be certain if they’d been fed lately.
Before we knew it, there were far too many fish to remember names of or even keep track of.
On that note…
Never name fish after your family members.
The first fish to kick the bucket was a red Platy named after my brother and his dog.
A child showing up to school crying about dead fish named after a family member is bound to be a traumatizing experience.
Chloe-Dante just died!
Um, isn’t that your uncle? And his…dog?
Your uncle and his dog just died…and you’re at school?!?
What is wrong with your family?!?
Oh, you guys name your fish after your family members…???
Seriously, what is wrong with your family?
Not an ideal situation.
Always a new fish.
Always a new one kicking the bucket.
On the bright side, we really got the most bang for our buck with all that inbreeding, which led to our pet count multiplying exponentially.
So I guess in that sense, we got a pretty good deal out of it.
I mean, with the exception of The Missing GloFish.
How can a bright neon green fish go missing?
It’s not like they can jump out of a tank…
Or can they?
We’ll never know for certain.
Maybe he was just trying to escape that horrifying inferno.
I can’t say I would’ve blamed him.
It’s safe to say I’ve learned my lesson.
~Happy Saturday, everyone! Have a fantastic weekend!~