Santa Dearest

Ho ho ho!

It’s time to start thinking about which list you’ve managed to land yourself on this year!

What’s that?

You’ve been a perfect angel?

Ha!

Who are you kidding?

Surely, you do know Santa sees you when you’re sleeping.

And he knows when you’re awake.

Oh, and he also watches your every move…

365 days a year.

Okay, so he’s basically a generous gift-giving stalker, when you think about it.

Anyway, let’s see what kind of sorry excuses we can come up with for our less than saintly behavior this year, shall we?

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(Everything in life is relative, and therefore subject to opinion. So, who knows? Santa may well have flexible guidelines. Or low standards.)

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(Again, another matter of relativity. But seriously, what criteria must one meet to even qualify for Santa’s nice list?)

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(Just as well. If you’re holding out hope for a fantastic gift, you’d be better off buying it yourself in the first place, anyway.)

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(I can confidently say I’ve been both naughty-ish and nice-ish this year. With that said, does this mean I’ve been good enough to deserve a present or two, or should I be expecting a stocking full of coal?)

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(Nah, it’s never too late! Unless it’s already Christmas morning, in which case, yeah, you’re probably out of luck…)

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( If you’re getting coal this Christmas, why not at least have the satisfaction of knowing you’ve truly earned it for a job well done?)

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(Naughtily nice. Now there’s an oxymoronic concept. Well, I suppose if you’re going to do something, might as well put a little extra effort in and do it well.)

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(Oh, little minion. With all the antics and mayhem you’ve caused, you probably haven’t even been good enough to receive coal this year!)

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(Excellent point. No need to over-explain things to the point where you land yourself right back on that naughty list.)

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(Now we’re talking! This is totally true! Okay, probably true. Maybe true? Augh!)

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(Look, if he wants to drop by in the wee hours of the night, the least he could do is clean up after himself. Is that really so unreasonable?)

(Take that, Santa! Serves you right for even thinking about putting me on the naughty list!)

Poor Santa.

He tries so hard to bring joy to people all over the world, and we all struggle to conduct ourselves like decent human beings for more than 24 hours at a time.

On second thought…

Look at it this way:

Being naughty saves Santa a trip.

So you’d actually be doing him a huge favor by adding more mischief into your daily routine.

Especially since you’re ultimately gonna end up buying your own presents anyway.

~Happy Friday! Hope you all have a holly jolly weekend!~

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18 thoughts on “Santa Dearest

  1. I have to believe that kind ol’ spirit Santa enjoys a little outside-the-box behavior on occasion…so we should be able to get a tad naughty when the spirit moves us. It does get a bit confusing when considering everyone’s personal comfort level with things. One person’s risky act is another one’s daily activity. I have never seen Santa publish a list detailing naughtiness so maybe everyone can simply claim “hey, if we KNEW that was bad we wouldn’t have done it.”

    Liked by 1 person

    • Those are some very good points. Especially the part about one person’s risky act being another one’s daily activity. Totally relative.

      And you’re right- when has Santa ever laid out a detailed list about what exactly qualifies as naughty behavior or nice behavior?

      What if little Billy is normally a very nice young boy, but one day decides to pull a little girl’s hair on the playground? Does this one moment of questionable behavior now cement his place on the naughty list?

      And what about little bratty Jenny, who decides to only steal one of her sister’s Barbie dolls, instead of taking them all, like she usually would? Under those circumstances, is this relatively good behavior…for her?

      Where does Santa draw the line? All I know is I wouldn’t want his job. It sounds like it involves far too much judgement and must be far too stressful. 😛

      Liked by 1 person

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